tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post2326441740791526251..comments2024-03-03T01:47:45.961-08:00Comments on White Sugar, Brown Sugar: Adoption EthicsWhite Sugar Brown Sugar by Rachel Garlinghousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573930066994411269noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-10760228110639925062017-03-13T12:53:21.353-07:002017-03-13T12:53:21.353-07:00Great article. I am a birth mother and I work at a...Great article. I am a birth mother and I work at a Christian adoption agency. I talk to birth mothers every day. Some birth mothers are just scared and need someone to talk to. I never coerce them. There is help out there so a birth mother can parent her baby. For those who for whatever reason can't or do not want to parent, an adoption plan may be the answer for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-24786405576145038662017-01-26T11:41:44.307-08:002017-01-26T11:41:44.307-08:00A tough read on the day we were supposed to bring ...A tough read on the day we were supposed to bring a baby home, and found out last night it won't be happening. We agree with everything you've said in your article 100%, but what's missing is the pain felt by hopeful adoptive parents when things fall through. We've prayed for each of the moms we've been matched with, that they will feel loved and supported no matter what the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-6940538311715038812015-07-10T04:32:53.802-07:002015-07-10T04:32:53.802-07:00What a great article! Thank you for sharing.What a great article! Thank you for sharing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12256132649391435095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-7460442953878972072013-09-26T11:05:26.892-07:002013-09-26T11:05:26.892-07:00I really appreciate this. My husband and I are par...I really appreciate this. My husband and I are parents due to an open, interracial, domestic adoption, and the family we ended up working with decided on adoption before they even started looking at agencies. I have serious issues with many of the ethical and moral questions surrounding adoptions, but we did the best we could. I completely agree that the biological family should be considered wendrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06997119641497745602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-29491126541830592672013-09-12T18:09:57.984-07:002013-09-12T18:09:57.984-07:00So well written! My husband and I have been tryin...So well written! My husband and I have been trying to adopt for almost 2 years now. The interest of the birth family is our first priority and it is not easy finding an agency with the same philosophy. We are a little discouraged because following this philosophy has most certainly delayed our chances of adoption.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-18996566472983432122013-09-12T12:53:54.820-07:002013-09-12T12:53:54.820-07:00As a fellow adoptive mama, I am SO with you on thi...As a fellow adoptive mama, I am SO with you on this!! We waited two years for our son to come home, and heard so many times that a birth mother who'd been considering us had, in fact, chosen to parent. While we were always disappointed that our wait would continue, we rejoiced in the biological family staying intact. It's a very complicated thing to explain, and it often comes out Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04860234717879887159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-40180322457403609002013-09-12T10:02:54.113-07:002013-09-12T10:02:54.113-07:00Claudia has a post that shares how adopting parent...Claudia has a post that shares how adopting parents (and others) can get ore information about many nonprofit agencies. How much is spent on marketing to and salaries? How much is spent on counseling? <br /><br />http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/the-non-profit-adoption-agency-myth/<br /><br />Very good list of what you'd tell your previous self if you could.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-87266617640584412632013-09-12T09:37:33.395-07:002013-09-12T09:37:33.395-07:00Thank you for writing the truth. Thank you for ...Thank you for writing the truth. Thank you for 'getting it'. YOU are a blessing!<br /><br />An adoptee, a birthmom and a mom.<br />Reunited with son and birth siblings. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-58311220572978188312013-09-12T09:35:26.390-07:002013-09-12T09:35:26.390-07:00Thank you for putting it out there, the philosophi...Thank you for putting it out there, the philosophies we share as well. We came to work with an adoption facilitator, Ellen Roseman of Cooperative Adoption Consulting, who also felt this way and educated her clients along these lines as well. We too are parents through adoption, domestic infant adoption. This needs to be shared shared and shared!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-60635023111788966102013-09-12T09:33:07.054-07:002013-09-12T09:33:07.054-07:00Anne and Steve...with all due respect, it is wrong...Anne and Steve...with all due respect, it is wrong to pray that someone else will lose their baby so that you can have it...I am that baby, and I hid my feelings from my adoptive parents my whole life..they were kind, good hearted people also....before you choose a domestic infant adoption I would encourage you to talk with some adult adoptees and read more...a good place to start might be Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12498578297097094649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-31314098714526514132013-09-12T09:27:54.528-07:002013-09-12T09:27:54.528-07:00Rachel...how much can I possibly love you and this...Rachel...how much can I possibly love you and this piece. I am an adoptee and and mother of a 12-year old daughter (adopted from China) and to three other children (biological)...I am like MommyChemist (did I write this?)...thank you from this traumatized adoptee for getting it...thank you from this mother of a traumatized adoptive daughter for getting it...we have to speak more often and as Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12498578297097094649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-68897479487604696242013-09-12T09:25:15.187-07:002013-09-12T09:25:15.187-07:00I'm crying. Thank you.
-Jenna, birth mother.I'm crying. Thank you.<br /><br />-Jenna, birth mother.Jennahttp://stopdropandblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-22440364562131009522013-09-12T09:24:18.529-07:002013-09-12T09:24:18.529-07:00Let me just put it out there that I am a first mom...Let me just put it out there that I am a first mom. I lost my first child to adoption 21 years ago. we have been in reunion for 3 years, she even lived with me for a year after she turned 18, but now we have no relationship. After reading this I just want t o thank you. Thank you for writing about ethics and morals in adoption. I think it is so important to give expectant mothers the tools Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-76716937575406335012013-09-12T09:08:18.097-07:002013-09-12T09:08:18.097-07:00I was researching this morning for finding help an...I was researching this morning for finding help and support for an adoption mother facing some tough issues with her daughter. I found this post and I have to stop now and tell you how very appreciative I am. <br />Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I am a birthmtoher who has been wailing against the system that created this loss in my life for 12 years now. And I have always FauxClaudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00794052679215498158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-68678101591534332812013-07-23T20:26:40.377-07:002013-07-23T20:26:40.377-07:00Well written! I agree!!Well written! I agree!!Kierstinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07621515303897842138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-27133552146190728362013-07-21T19:51:57.500-07:002013-07-21T19:51:57.500-07:00Did I write this...I don't remember writing th...Did I write this...I don't remember writing this....but I totally could have. Your views are spot on what we believe as well. We are a transracial adoptive family (domestic infant) as well. I just want to share this article with everyone! Thanks for sharing your heart! Sarah Nicholshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08614452336899875368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-32176071236752854482013-07-21T18:34:31.053-07:002013-07-21T18:34:31.053-07:00Thank you for writing this! Right now I am here, w...Thank you for writing this! Right now I am here, waiting for a birth-couple that reached us to contact us again. And I am trying really hard to remind myself that this is not about us but about them, and the future of this baby. The important thing is that they will follow their heart, make the right decision for them, and find around them all the support they need, no matter what their path willAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06825943801285021442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-25966919669992865042013-07-21T16:32:32.242-07:002013-07-21T16:32:32.242-07:00It is always a blessing to visit your blog, Rachel...It is always a blessing to visit your blog, Rachel. Thank you and God bless. I thank God for you always.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16225538590604673609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-50022001495360699962013-07-20T11:10:07.510-07:002013-07-20T11:10:07.510-07:00Loved this - especially the "What I would hav...Loved this - especially the "What I would have told myself" at the end. <br /><br />The Lord has been gracious to teach us these same lessons. I'd add one more: Choose an agency who sincerely encourages open adoption. <br /><br />It's not the answer for everyone, but I've seen a definite difference in mindset in the waiting families with our agency when they've worked Erin @ Sew Abundantlyhttp://www.sewabundantly.etsy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-57389019481381530582013-07-19T22:51:44.393-07:002013-07-19T22:51:44.393-07:00I prefer agencies that charge fees on a sliding sc...I prefer agencies that charge fees on a sliding scale based on income to agencies that charge fees based on the race of the child. I believe sliding scales make adoption more affordable for those who need it to be so.<br /><br />Otherwise, I think this is a great list. More PAPs need to read it. There are a couple of grammatical errors though. It's "Butt out" with 2 t's, and &Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-42034332694307823292013-07-19T18:25:25.220-07:002013-07-19T18:25:25.220-07:00Just wondering your opinion on the following I fou...Just wondering your opinion on the following I found on the Adoption Institute's website. I knew it was true I just needed to find a reference.<br />"These children [African American children] account for 15 percent of the U.S. child population but, in FY2006, they represented 32 percent of the 510,000 children in foster care. Black children, as well as Native American children, also Aubreynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-56186666704901742102013-07-19T16:46:11.963-07:002013-07-19T16:46:11.963-07:00Excellent article. In a perfect world, no mother ...Excellent article. In a perfect world, no mother would be unwilling, unable, or unfit to raise her child in her own home. It's not a perfect world, and there's nothing wrong with praying to match with a birthmother for whom an adoption plan is the best or only option. But we can certainly support birthmothers by selecting agencies whose priorities are correct, i.e. counseling the Anne and Stevehttp://www.parentfinder.com/AnneStevenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-90139841164484524912013-07-19T15:13:17.063-07:002013-07-19T15:13:17.063-07:00This is amazing. Thank you for this.
-Emily, adopt...This is amazing. Thank you for this.<br />-Emily, adopteeEmily (Em Busy Living)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10219696811111339618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-21812349673513404652013-07-19T14:32:29.770-07:002013-07-19T14:32:29.770-07:00Thank you for writing this post - although your vi...Thank you for writing this post - although your views may not be popular among waiting adoptive parents...they are the truth. Whether a potential birth parent parents or places is a decision that only they and God can make together. It should never be influenced by the pressure of an agency, waiting adoptive family, etc. I am going to share this on our agency's Facebook page (Family Life Deanne Hamlettehttp://www.flsadoption.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1937194102446307830.post-89722269339363343882013-07-19T06:55:46.685-07:002013-07-19T06:55:46.685-07:00You say do not support an agency that charges base...You say do not support an agency that charges based on income - what do you suggest doing if the most trusted agency nearest to you does that? The agency in our area charges 25% of your income with a minimum that would have to be met and a maximum that would not have to be exceeded.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01017289028232155262noreply@blogger.com