It's back-to-school time! Most of us who have adopted consider what we will or won't share with our child's teacher regarding adoption. If you're struggling, here are a essential questions to ask:
1: What info is essential in order for my child to have a successful year academically?
2: What info is essential so that my child will have a socially successful year?
3: What info will help the teacher better understand and respond to my child?
4: Who else do I need to pull into the conversation (social worker, principal, therapists, etc.)?
5: What is must-share now and what is "wait and see"?
6: What info do I need to keep private, because remember once info is shared it cannot ever be taken back?
7: What does my child want shared?
Each year our children's teachers have invited us to fill out a form OR write a letter to them about our child. This is usually information like the things that motivate the child, things the child struggles with, and then there's always a "what else?" section. That's where adoption comes in.
I highly recommend putting something in writing. At the beginning of a year, teachers are so incredibly busy and overwhelmed. Having info in writing can be more helpful than a one-time conversation.
Here are some things I usually include:
-domestic infant adoption (not foster care or international which can have different implications)
-open adoption (because our children WILL talk about their bio siblings and parents, as well as trips to visit them---like what they did; also for the teacher to keep in mind that some assignments may need modification, such as the family tree assignment)
-who is in our immediate family
-an invitation to ask me questions or request resources
Considerations:
-check in from time-to-time, especially after open-adoption visits or assignments that needed modifications.
-set up an adoption display at the school library during National Adoption Month; offer to run a training for the teachers on adoption
-donate a few adoption picture books to your child's classroom library. Here are some of my recommendations:
What has worked for you in the past? What do you plan to do differently this year? Let's chat about what has and hasn't worked for us and share ideas!
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This is SO SO good! Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is only in preschool but last year I sent her teacher an email about our family, adoption, my daughters personality. I also asked about how the preschool class addressed diversity and offered to come into the classroom to talk to the students or send books that the teacher could utilize.
I will send a similar email this year and also add an update on how many daughter is doing since last spring.