Pages

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Dear Sugar: School and Younger Adoptees, What Parents Need to Know

Dear Sugar:

It's back-to-school time!   Most of us who have adopted consider what we will or won't share with our child's teacher regarding adoption.   If you're struggling, here are a essential questions to ask:

1:  What info is essential in order for my child to have a successful year academically?

2:  What info is essential so that my child will have a socially successful year?  

3:  What info will help the teacher better understand and respond to my child? 

4:  Who else do I need to pull into the conversation (social worker, principal, therapists, etc.)? 

5:  What is must-share now and what is "wait and see"?

6:  What info do I need to keep private, because remember once info is shared it cannot ever be taken back?  

7:  What does my child want shared?  

Each year our children's teachers have invited us to fill out a form OR write a letter to them about our child.   This is usually information like the things that motivate the child, things the child struggles with, and then there's always a "what else?" section.   That's where adoption comes in.  

I highly recommend putting something in writing.  At the beginning of a year, teachers are so incredibly busy and overwhelmed. Having info in writing can be more helpful than a one-time conversation. 

Here are some things I usually include:

-domestic infant adoption (not foster care or international which can have different implications) 

-open adoption (because our children WILL talk about their bio siblings and parents, as well as trips to visit them---like what they did; also for the teacher to keep in mind that some assignments may need modification, such as the family tree assignment)

-who is in our immediate family

-an invitation to ask me questions or request resources 

Considerations:

-check in from time-to-time, especially after open-adoption visits or assignments that needed modifications.

-set up an adoption display at the school library during National Adoption Month; offer to run a training for the teachers on adoption

-donate a few adoption picture books to your child's classroom library.   Here are some of my recommendations: 



What has worked for you in the past?  What do you plan to do differently this year?  Let's chat about what has and hasn't worked for us and share ideas!  

-This post contains Amazon affiliate links.



1 comment:

  1. This is SO SO good! Thanks for sharing this.
    My daughter is only in preschool but last year I sent her teacher an email about our family, adoption, my daughters personality. I also asked about how the preschool class addressed diversity and offered to come into the classroom to talk to the students or send books that the teacher could utilize.
    I will send a similar email this year and also add an update on how many daughter is doing since last spring.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated and published upon approval. Your thoughts and questions are also welcome via e-mail at whitebrownsugar AT hotmail DOT com.