Dear Sugar: When You Feel Helpless About Race, Adoption, and Politics

Lately, I’ve grappled a lot with feeling helpless and hopeless.  Race relations in America are awful.  One glace at my Facebook newsfeed makes me want to climb under my bedcovers and hibernate for the rest of…oh, the next four years.    

Certainly, parenting children of color who are getting older, moving from the public’s perception of being cute to being suspicious, is weighing on my heart.   The election has certainly revved up a lot of people, many in not good ways.  

I’m a work-from-home mom with four kids.  I cannot just pick up and go to a big rally, protest in the streets of D.C., volunteer.   I’m grateful for the opportunity to be home with my kids, but because of my choice, motherhood is my (all-consuming) ministry.   Between these four walls is where it all happens.

So what can I do?  How can I be an activist when the immediate needs of caring for four children consumes all of my time and energy?  

I know many of you are in the same boat, whether you work outside the home or not.  You have kids, a full-time commitment to being at home or outside the home, and perhaps a spouse and home to take care of.   And you, like me, are in a fog of anger, discontentment, frustration, and loss.   What can I do?  What can be done to make any difference? 

As I read book after book, skim newstories, and write articles, I feel a stirring in me to do more, to do something bigger, something important and impactful. 

Then it dawned on me the other night.  I AM already doing what I need to do:  I’m grappling.

Grappling means a commitment to change and growth.  Grappling means rejecting what is now because tomorrow will hopefully be better.   Grappling means dedication to raising kind, confident children.  Grappling means dancing with hope.   

A few months ago, I partnered with an Etsy company.  I had discovered the shop and found a beautiful home décor tile that I knew I needed.   I craved a reminder that I was doing the right things and that activism starts at home. 

Sugar, I hope you find the place where you feel you are making a difference.  And perhaps like me, that place is the incredible honor you have right before you:  raising your family with the values that will continue to create change long beyond this moment.  

Keep on grappling.