Saturday, November 19, 2011
Apparently, you can get a baby "from $5."
As an adoptive mother, I have participated in discussions surrounding this question: Do adoption agencies sell babies?
It's easy to put up our defenses and say, "No way! We are paying for an adoption process. We don't buy babies."
My response to adoptive families is this: It's tough, very tough, to find an ethical agency that exists as a ministry and not a business, an agency that doesn't sell babies to the people who can afford to buy them.
Many organizations and businesses exist to bring in money for personal profit. Those that can be most successful use something deeply emotional, such as starting a family or fighting a disease, to bring in the big bucks.
The abortion industry, for example, is a money making machine. They meet a woman at the point of crisis, offer a quick solution, money is exchanged, and poof, problem gone (or so the industry claims).
It's sad that the comparison can be made between an abortion clinic and an adoption agency, but the truth is that both can exisit to provide a service that is sought after during a crucial, desperate time in a woman's life---be it the woman who chooses abortion, the woman who places her baby for adoption, or the woman wanting to adopt a baby after she's waited months, years, or even decades to become a mother.
I think adoptive parents have a responsibility to choose their agency wisely. You have a right to ask a lot of questions, no matter how "intrusive" they may seem. You have a right to know how the adoption fees are being used. You have a right to question any agency practices You have a right to ask how birth parents are treated, how it's handled if an expectant mom chooses to parent instead of following her "placement plan," etc. You have a right to receive complete and honest answers.
I love transparent agencies, honest social workers, and down-to-earth, knowledgeable birth parent counselors. They are quite hard to find. But don't stop until you find that stellar agency---because, I do believe we are responsible for our choices and we will be judged one day by God for those decisions.
And, if you are working with an unethical agency, don't be afraid to go elsewhere. Yes, you may have given a lot of money to your current agency, but luckily, God allows U-turns.