Saturday, April 28, 2012

I Can't Believe I'm Saying This...A Rant on Adoption Pins

Finally, we are moved into our new home, and I have a few spare moments to browse my (and your?) latest addiction:  Pinterest.

One of my readers had notified me that some of my articles and blog posts were being pinned.  So, late one night, I type "adoption" into the search engine. 

Images like these irk me:

Adoption isn't...

1:  THE abortion alternative.    Adoption, abortion, parenting.  These are COMPLICATED decisions.  A mother who is considering abortion is in the heat of a crisis pregnancy (be it minor or major, in her book).    It bothers me that so many Christians promote adoption over parenting as an abortion alternative.    I do believe all mothers love their babies---born and unborn.  I also believe a woman needs to be told what ALL of her options are---not just told "abortion is bad; adoption is wonderful."   To simplify adoption, to promote it as the easy out to an unplanned pregnancy, is incredibly disturbing.

2:  "...the new pregnant."  PUH-LEEZE.  I know adoption is pretty cool---saith the public---who, at the same time, also says adoptive families are second class citizens (via their comments, stares, and questions).  I didn't adopted because it's cool or "new." To imply that adoption is a trend and we should all jump on the bandwagon is offensive.

Additionally, adoption isn't a replacement for having biological children.    Having a biological child and adopting aren't the same.  Don't give me that "I didn't carry you in my tummy; I carried you in my heart" nonsense.     To enter into adoption as a replacement for pregnancy/biology is ridiculous.   No doubt, in the end there's a child who is loved unconditionally by his or her parent(s)....but to pretend that adopting a child is the same as having a biological child, or is less cool or more cool than having a biological child, well, that implies that adopted children should disregard their biological roots and that birth parents should go along their merry little way while their child is raised by adoptive parents.

Now before you write me off as crazy....

I've read hundreds of adoption books, blogs, and articles.   I like to dig deeper into the messages being sent by a simple pin or e-mail or poem or Proverb.  It's never as simple as it seems.    And pro-adoption messages more often favor the adoptive parents, not the adoptee or the biological parents.  That irks me. 

There are so many misconceptions about adoption, these two images promoting a few of those misconceptions.  

What adoption messages irk you?   How are they harmful to members of the adoption triad?

1 comment:

  1. I really can't stand the "...I carried you in my heart" thing. In our case, it's particularly untrue since we did not adopt newborns, and we fostered first anyway.


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