I am deeply disturbed when I hear adoptive parents (usually prospective, not experienced), the general public, and adoption professionals say that birth parents who place their kids can breathe a deep sigh of relief, "get over," and "move past" the child.
I know several birth parents, and not one of them "gets over" losing their own flesh and blood (even when the loss is voluntary)----because it's not natural to give your child "up" for adoption.
This isn't to say adoption can't be beautiful, that the birth parent made the wrong decision, or that the birth parent doesn't have seasons of joy and progress in his or her life.
What it does mean is that losing a child, be it through death, through miscarriage, through abortion, or through adoption, is incredibly heartbreaking and life-altering.
Consider this story published last week.
I am honored to be my girls' mother, I look forward to adopting more children, but I'm also ever-mindful that someone else's loss was my gain. That's the nature of adoption. Tough pill to swallow.