Adoptive parents take various approaches to responding to nosy questions and aggressive or judgemental comments.
A reader wrote in to Ann Kearney-Cooke, a member of SHAPE's advisory board, in the August 2010 issue of Shape (34). The reader said:
"My mom keeps making remarks about the extra pounds I'm still carrying after having a baby last year. How do I get her to leave me alone?"
Kearney-Cooke's response was a few paragraphs long, but one part in particular stuck out to me. She suggested the reader respond to her mother's comments by saying, "And you're saying this because...?"
The reason this response works well, according the advisor, is that "you shift the burden of explanation back" to the person asking the question/making the comment.
Maybe I'll try this in the future when facing another nosy, judgemental, or condescending comment or question regarding adoption.