In January, my favorite aunt sent me an adorable birthday card that read:
(Front cover): Happy Birthday to a niece who is smart and pretty and sweet as can be, but that's not really surprising....
(Inside): That's heredity!
I love being part of two open adoptions. I strongly believe my girls will benefit from knowing and communicating with their biological families. But this card had me thinking, no matter how "good" we are as adoptive parents---being open, honest, and communicative---we cannot erase the pain our children, the adoptees, will face. They have been forever separated from their biological families. They might know things about their parents' backgrounds, they obviously share their genes, but many of the things my girls will "inherit" will come from my husband and me based on how we raise them.
I wonder when, how, and where my girls will first realize this loss. I wonder what I'll say. I wonder what will trigger their questions and comments.
Will I be enough for them? Will I say the right things? Will I really be able to put aside my own feelings and "handle with care"?
My prayer is that even though I am my girls' mother, and even though I am trying with all my heart to make sure they have strong, positive relationships with their biological family members, that God will just work in mighty ways to help me raise strong, confident, dedicated, loving girls who know that having two families isn't a curse, it's a blessing. AND, that God will give me the patience, understanding, and wisdom to listen to my girls' concerns, answer their questions, and accept that adoption can be pretty jacked up sometimes. But God is God, and He can handle whatever comes.