Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"Change is Good."

My father, a salesperson for most of his life, would often tell my siblings and me:  "Change is good."     During his motivational talks, he would take an air conditioner thermostat, showing his audience the area marked "comfort zone."  He proceeded to talk about how so many of us refuse to step out of our comfort zones; therefore, our lives are mundane and predictable.   

Maybe I'm having something like a mid-mid-life reflection of sorts.  I'm turning 30 in January, and all the sudden I'm rearing at the bit to create some change in my life.   This is really difficult for me, because between raising two babies who are dependent upon me for almost everything and having a forever-and-ever disease (type I diabetes) that requires 24/7 management, change is frightening.   But it's also exhilarating.

So, in the works are several projects and changes.   Some of you are probably thinking, "That's dramatic for you?"    Yes.    I thrive on security, predictability, and control.  Part of it is my type A personality, and the other is my disease which teaches me that in order to feel well, I have to be in total control, all the time.     I'm forever battling myself.   Sigh! 

First, my blog is getting a makeover by Fran at  Small Bird Studios.    Because I'm publishing more and more, my blog is getting more hits.   I want my blog to not only inform and inspire, but I want it to look great and reflect how much I am thankful for my readers.   

Second, I'm saying no to non-paying writing projects.    I have finally built up enough publications on my writing resume to feel worthy of saying no to those who can't pay me for my time and talent.

Third, I'm working on two books.   One of which is open to contributors.    The other is in the hands of an agent.   I'm praying that if God wants me to write a book, He makes it abundantly clear to me.    I tend to put the cart before the horse, so I'm trying to be patient and accept if this is the right time in my life or not to write a book.    I'm battling myself----deciding to accept that I am talented enough, smart enough, and experienced enough to attempt a book.   (This didn't come easily to me, but a dear friend told me that I was good enough and to not pass this opportunity by.  I love awesome friends like this!).

Fourth, I'm not going to let my appearance come nearly-last anymore.  You know, I used to poke fun at my mom who would put on makeup just to run to Wal-Mart, but now I'm starting to get it.   I'm purchasing some newer clothes that compliment my skin and hair, and I'm cleaned out my closet, donating all items that didn't fit, didn't look nice, or urged me to be sloppy.    With two little girls, it's easy to excuse being a thrown-together-mama because inevidtably, I will end up with spit up, snot, or food on my clothes.    But you know, clothes can be washed.      I workout every day, so why not show off that hard work?    I'm going to stop buying anything black (because it makes me look washed out), to wear my high heels more often (because I always feel a little more confident in heels), and to not let something that's not working continue (like my attempt to grow out my hair).          

Five, I'm changing my goals and being open to the possibilities life throws at me.    Steve and I are still considering adopting from foster care, specifically, an African American sibling group.  I have so many doubts including if my girls will handle the change in birth order well, if I can manage my disease and take care of a large family, if we can afford this change, what we are willing to give up in order to have a large family, and so much more.    But I know if it's the right decision, everything will work out.

Finally, Steve and I working toward spending more quality time together.   Shutting the TV off can be hard after we've both had long, stressful days, but I strongly believe that united parents/partners create phenominal families!  We're also using the questions from The Five Love Languages to guide us in some revealing discussions about ourselves.      

The coming months are filled with possibilities, which I'm excited to greet and embrace.     I hope that you are also accepting the possibility of change in your life---big or small---for the better. 



  1. You go, Rachel! I love your willingness to pursue your callings!

  2. I'm excited about your changes!

    Definitely looking forward to the blog makeover :) And I agree that you should get paid for your writing. Some people feel that Christ followers should be doing everything for free - I know I've encountered people with that opinion.

    I'm praying that you do write and publish a book soon! Especially about adoption - maybe for selfish reasons! I was led to My Brown Baby somehow and have been reading your blog since you posted about adopting.

    I love your 4th point! I'm not even a mom, but I sometimes let my appearance or my "me-time" get last place. And that's important. Look confident, represent your family well by looking good; it's all a good thing. I deal with that! I buy house things and haven't seen the inside of a mall in months. Grr.

    I'm excited to see where all of these changes are going - definitely will be reading.

  3. You are awesome! You can do it! You continue to inspire me with every post you make!
    Change is refreshing and if it doesn't work out for you you can always change again!
    You go get 'em girl!!!

  4. I've adopted AA from foster care and now I also work with kids in foster care. I would really encourage prospective foster-adopters not to disrupt birth order, but to wait and adopt from foster care when your girls are older.

    The usual reason cited for not disrupting birth order in foster care adoptions is to protect the younger children you already have. And that is a very good reason that really cannot be overemphasized.

    But the other reason, and the one that I have experienced personally, is that by adopting children who are younger than your current kids, you give the new arrivals a tremendous gift--the gift of older, stable, understanding siblings who can help them instead of competing with them without any understanding of why.

    We didn't breach birth order in our adoption because of the safety reasons, but having seen the tremendous benefits of my older children for my foster-adopted son, even if I knew 100% there were no safety concerns, I would stick with adopting younger having seen how much having older siblings helped him make the transition.

    Best wishes to you whatever you decide, and thank you for encouraging others to consider foster care adoption!


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