Monday, June 22, 2015

Distractions and the Family-By-Adoption

When we arrived home from vacation last weekend, I was rested and tan from the Gulf's sunshine. During our vaca, we took a social media break, knowing we didn't want to spend a few grand in beachfront condo rental just to sit on the beach, faces buried in our IPhones.   

What we came back to was media craziness over the Rachel Dolezal story.  Initially, I was like, "Um, ok.  Whatever."  But the more I went through my FB feed, reading reactions from bloggers, news outlets, and individuals, the more involved I became.  The more INVESTED I became.  Then on Tuesday, Dolezal spoke to both Matt Lauer and Melissa Harris-Perry, explaining/justifying/excusing her choices and behaviors.   It was annoying and strange, but I didn't get fired up until she said to Matt Lauer that the only way she could be seen as her (Black) son's real mother was to be black herself.


The story oozes privilege, stereotyping, offensiveness, and, I believe, mental illness.  It's really ridiculous, her responses and claims, and there is surely more to the story....but that isn't the point.    

It dawned on me how ridiculous I WAS BEING.  Spending too much time reading opinions, watching video clips, and caring what this woman says or does.   She has NO bearing on me and my family.  She certainly doesn't represent us and our feelings about transracial adoption, transracial parenting, and race.   She doesn't represent any of the families I am honored to know.

I don't want to live a distracted life, one where I let the opinions and decisions of others have any influence on my mood, my decision making, my parenting, even my writing.  I simply don't have time for such nonsense.  I have three young children, a husband, a chronic disease, a home, a career, and an adoption support group I facilitate.  I refuse to be distracted.  

I set out to blog in order to learn and teach, not to sway whichever way the wind is blowing that day.   I don't want to blog just to blog.  Blog just to gain more "likes" or followers or comments.   I don't want to be a piece in a game, and I sure don't want to drag others through the mud just to gain more attention.   That's not what this blog is about.  What my life is about.   

When you find yourself distracted by the latest gossipy news story, even when that story has some sort of tie to the adoption community, read up on some wisdom (just as I did today!) from the ESV Bible: 

Luke 10:38-42
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Psalm 119:15
I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.

1 Corinthians 7:35
I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

And remember, your babies (or babies-to-be) need you to move forward and make choices in clarity, in purity, and with a good attitude.  You cannot do that if you're busy judging, evaluating, and pondering the latest scandal.  

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