Dear Rachel,
This is Now-Rachel. I
have three children by adoption. And
here’s what you need to know right now as you wait for your first child:
Pray more for the unknown mom who will entrust you with her
child than you pray for yourself. But
don’t forget to pray for yourself, too. Just don’t forget to pray in general.
You have no control over what happens. You do have control over your reactions.
Don’t stop living your life just because you are waiting for
babies. Relish in today’s joys. Handle today’s challenges.
Being nervous, neurotic, confused, angry, and hopeful are
perfectly normal emotions.
Listen to your budding mommy-gut more than you listen to
advice books and blogs and other parents.
God gave you a mommy-gut for a reason!
Nest away. Nest fiercely
and passionately. Enjoy it.
No matter how many times you adopt, each time is scary,
heartbreaking, and difficult. The number
of times you adopt has no bearing on each adoption process and the emotions you
will face. When human hearts and lives
are involved, it’s terrifying and overwhelming.
Listen to every woman of color who approaches you with
advice on hair, skin, and culture once your sweet baby is home.
Don’t answer every question (or feel obligated to answer
every question) you are asked about your child and her adoption. It’s okay to walk away mid-conversation or
tell someone they are being rude or intrusive.
Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from women of color. Humble yourself!
The What-If Game is ridiculously time consuming and stress
inducing. Stop playing it!
Give yourself permission to just sit and hold your baby for
hours on end. There is nothing like the
first baby and the earliest days.
Trust the old ladies who tell you that kids grow up so fast
and time flies. They are 100%
right! Relish in today.
Love with reckless abandon.
You have nothing to prove.
You are just who you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are
supposed to do. All negative voices have
no place in your life.
You are a great (budding) mother, and you will just get better with
time!
Forgive yourself.
Often. Early. And move forward. Yesterday shouldn’t put you in chains.
Breathe in that sweet baby smell one hundred times a
day. Bury your nose in your baby’s neck
even more. Snuggle away. Get lost in your baby’s eyes. Savor
every smile and sleepy gaze.
Love, Rachel
Thanks Rachel! My husband and I have been in the process for over a year and just had to "fire" our agency. We continue to pray and discern our next step but I appreciate reading your blog and can't wait to get my Devotional!
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