We've had a lot of trial and error. I admit, I've had some total breakdowns in my minivan--feeling unequipped to deal with a particular situation. I don't want to fail my kid--knowing I need to be the adult they desperately need.
I have several tools I've used that have helped. First, we created our Angry Bowl. It's worked very well!
Second, we have a home sensory gym. It's important for kids with sensory issues to have a balance of calmer activities and gross motor activities. Both of which need to include plenty of sensory-friendly opportunities.
Third, I've worked to educate myself. Reading Sensational Kids, The Whole Brain Child, and The Connected Child has been helpful for me to understand why old school parenting just doesn't make sense for adoptees and children with special needs. (Arguably--it doesn't make sense for any child).
Reading can be a calming activity for a child with special needs. I encourage you to read quietly, but also make it fun! Use different voices, read in various locations (whatever works for the kiddo), and make sure you have books in a variety of locations throughout your home so they are easily accessible.
Not only is reading important, but what you read is just as essential. Kids with big feelings need affirmation and techniques to help them navigate what's going on in their hearts and brains. Thankfully, there are many great picture book options that have helped my kiddo--and I'm sure will help yours, too!
What I love about these books is that they don't shame the child for having big feelings. Instead, they honestly and openly discuss them, but also encourage the child to take charge and to own their choices--showing them how empowering big feelings can be!
Click on the book cover to read reviews, a full description, get a sneak peek inside, and purchase:
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