5 Summer Must-Haves for the Multiracial Family

Summer is in full swing here, and if you're like me, you know it's going to be three months of both fun and sibling bickering and boredom and chaos.  That's summer for ya.   

If you're part of a multiracial family like I am, you need to know about these fabulous products to help make your summer a little more sweet and sane.

  
Sun Protection

Yes, people with more melanin in their skin can get sunburns and can get skin cancer and can also face issues from sun damage including discoloration.  Yet vitamin D deficiency can have major health consequences; this stems from too much indoor time and too much sun protection.  So what is a parent to do? 

We wear sunscreen during peak sun hours, but generally speaking, we aren't out swimming during those hours.  Our swim time is usually in the later afternoon after the baby's nap.  

Which sunscreen is best for kids of color?  

You don't want unhealthy ingredients, nor do you want it to bleach your child's skin.  We use this sunscreen because it comes in a spray bottle (easy to target areas), it's reasonably priced, and it's considered safe and healthy (non-toxic).  It also has a barely-there scent.  

And don't forget to protect hair from the sun and pool chemicals, too.  I recommend putting a sleep cap over your child's hair, followed by this "long hair" swim cap that's perfect for braids, dreads, etc.

Art Supplies

We love to have lots of art supplies on hand for those hot, sunny days or hot, rainy days when going outside is unbearable or not possible.  But you want your art supplies to reflect your kids!   I recommend this skin-tone paper (for portraits), these markers, and these crayons.  There's even paint options!   

Of course, you'll also want scissors, stickers, coloring books, stencils, etc. on hand-as well:  these are great items to get at your local dollar store.  I also love to cover the table with paper so everyone can work together to create a mural.  We also go on nature walks, gather up natural materials (flowers, rocks, pinecones, etc.) and these as stamps into paint.  The kids LOVE this activity! 

I'm a big fan of sensory play, but on scorching hot or rainy days, you might be stuck indoors.  This is a great opportunity to create and play in a rice bin.  (My kids, ages 1-9, all love rice bins!)

Personal Product Bags

If you're like us, you're taking your kids to various activities and camps throughout the summer.  If your kiddo is spending the day elsewhere, consider making them a personal product bag to carry with them.  This may include lip balm, mini-deodorant (we buy Native, Schmidt's, or Jason's), mints, first aid gel and moisturizer, etc.  Teach your child to check their skin and lips and address as-needed. Of course, throwing in a few Tru Colour bandages that match his or her skin tone isn't a bad idea, either! 

Popsicle Molds

Children of color have a 50% chance of developing type 2 diabetes in their lifetime, so encouraging active play and healthy eating is crucial since type 2 diabetes is primarily a lifestyle-based disease.

Buying healthy popsicles (not the artificial-dye and sugar-filled ones) is really expensive, so we DIY by using these popsicle molds. (Since we have a big family, we own three mold sets!)  We buy a variety of fruits and let the kids create their own flavor combinations.  For the liquid, we usually just use plain water or Trader Joe's low sugar lemonade (sweetened with Stevia) mixed with water.  

Great popsicle recipes for kids and adults (including boozy popsicles) can be found here and here.  

Educational Fun

We do some homeschooling in the summer.  For example, this summer my five-year-old son will continue to learn how to read while my nine-year-old is focusing on honing her math skills.  

I love choosing educational fun where my kids are represented.  A few suggestions include the ABC Me (Black History) Flashcards, Eeboo's I'll Never Forget a Face matching game, books like Little Leaders:  Bold Women in Black History and What Color Is My World?.

If you're feeling creative, generate some lessons/activities with your kids.  For example, teach them about the man who invented the super soaker, and then hand out water guns for some outdoor fun.

Don't forget to take education outside of your home:  concerts, museum exhibits, festivals, library story hours, etc. 

What are your summer plans?  What products does your family love?

Dear Sugar: On Summer and Keeping Our Kids Occupied With Diverse, Cooperative Activities

Dear Sugar,

We live just outside St. Louis.  The first few weeks of summer break are tolerable, some days even mild.  But soon, it heats up (to up to 115 heat index), and the kids (and me) grow really restless, irritated, and HOT.   You can only swim so many times.  So what is stay-at-home/work-at-home mom to do?  How do I keep the kids happily occupied when the days are long?   

One of our favorite companies is Peaceable Kingdom.  First, because they create diversity-friendly products for kids.  This is very important to my family: that the things we purchase for our children reflect faces that look like theirs.   

We also love the quality of the products.  With four kids, I refuse to purchase throw-away, junky items (which is a waste of money and not environmentally friendly).  Every product we own from Peaceable Kingdom is sturdy and of incredible quality.  We have friends over multiple times a week, so not only do my children use the products, but so do their friends:  and they hold up really well!

The variety is fantastic!  I love that they have so many products to choose from! Games, activity packs, cards, stationary, art supplies, puzzles, journals, even valentines.  And some of the items:  scratch and sniff, which if you have a sensory seeking child like I do, scratch and sniff is EVERYTHING.   Peaceable Kingdom realizes that kids' interests are diverse, so their products should reflect that!  They offer everything from space, to dinosaurs, to math, to art, to engineering, to princesses, to desserts, and much more!  They even offer "games to go":  yes, items that are made to travel!  


Finally, I love inclusion!  Many of the products fall under the"cooperative play" category, meaning we can use them as a family. Just like most people, my kids hate feeling left out, and cooperative play games include every family member.   Some of the games and puzzles have held the attention of my four-year-old, my six-year-old, and my eight-year-old; it doesn't get better than that!   Cooperative play games promote connection, cooperation, and empathy.  YAY!  

Here are our favorite Peaceable Kingdom products:

1:  Friends and Neighbors:  a cooperative game that teaches children about empathy and problem solving.   Notice the diverse cast of characters?  




2:  Scratch and Sniff Stickers:  We enjoyed the whipped cream-scented multiracial fairy stickers and the cherry scented firefighter and firetruck stickers.  

3:  Lock and key diaries:  My oldest LOVES writing (like her mama!), especially when she can "lock up" her words (and hide them from her little sister, who is quite a good reader!).  

Do you own any Peaceable Kingdom products?  Which are you favorites?  

This post is sponsored by our friends at Peaceable Kingdom, one of my favorite companies!  

Dear Sugar: Don't Get Too Busy That You Forget What's Most Important When You are Parenting a Child By Transracial Adoption

Dear Sugar:

I love finding books, dolls, movies, music, tv shows, art, even bedding that feature kids of color.  I get giddy-excited.  The same goes for greeting cards and Christmas ornaments/decor.   I love showing my kids how beautiful their skin is, how wonderful Black culture is, why Black history matters.

Lately on social media, I've seen many, many posts asking where to find Black dolls, Black books, Black movies for kids.  I think the increasingly awareness and willingness to purchase these items for children of color is fantastic.  

But...

I want you to know that all the art on the walls, all the books on the shelves, all the music on the playlist, all the toys in the bins:  these are important, but they are not the MOST important.

When I talk to parents who have recently adopted transracially or are considering to do so, they are often receptive to me sharing the importance of filling the home with art, toys, books.  But when I talk about living, working, and playing among diversity, I can practically hear a GULP.

For one, parents by adoption feel a reign of constant evaluation and judgement from the general public.  The parent is rendered a hero and savior (not true) or a less-than, not "real" parent because they didn't biologically conceive and birth the child.   Adoption can be isolating, overwhelming, and daunting.   To willingly subject oneself to making new friends and meeting new people can be very hard for families like mine.   I get it.

So many parents opt to be wallflowers.   It's easier.  Avoid eye contact.  Don't ask questions.

This is not the way to go.  For one, you NEED a village around you to navigate parenting when you've adopted or are in the adoption process.  For another, you NEED relationships with people who racially match your child.  And your children need relationships with people who racially match themselves.

As I've said before, if you are parenting a child by transracial adoption, you are not enough.    The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be.

Making new friends requires humbleness.  It requires you to listen and learn.  It requires you to be honest.  And it definitely requires a big dose of vulnerability.  

Your child needs you to be willing.   Your White friends cannot be your Black child's racial role models.  You, as a White parent, cannot be your Black child's racial role model.   No matter how much you teach your child Black history (something that is certainly valuable and important), a Black role model you see in the media isn't going to be there for your child when someone excludes them or suspects them because of the child's brown skin.  

Besides any personal friends of yours (who racially match your child) with whom your child can see and interact with, it's important to help your child find and develop relationships with:






1:  Someone at school.  A principal, a teacher, the librarian---someone.  Someone they see on a frequent basis.

2:  Their hair braider/barber.  This person can nurture the child in a way that's been done for many years:  a Black adult helping a child maintain their appearance while conversing with them.

3:  A mentor.   I've shared many times that my girls have a Black, female, Christian mentor who is an incredible role model and family friend.  






Now, I've been asked, does all this seem calculated?  Planned?  

Yes.

Having these individuals in my children's lives is intentional.  And proactive.  And mindful.  And realistic.

Yes, it takes time.

Yes, not every person of color you meet is going to be your friend.

Yes, your friends will change over time.

Yes, you will make mistakes, stumble, and eat a lot of humble pie.

That is okay.  Because making an effort and accepting the successes with the failures is better than not trying at all.  

From personal experience, I have never, not once, approached a person of color to ask about a hair product or style, for example, and been turned away or shamed.   I greatly appreciate that in Black culture, community is valued.   I see this beautifully when a person of color refers to my kids as "we" and "us"---including my children in the collective Black community and experience.   Questions are welcomed, it seems.

You need to wholly accept your children, appreciate them, nurture them, and celebrate them, and to do this, face to face, honest relationships are required.

This week I want to challenge you to be brave.  Take steps.  Extend hands and hearts.  Convey to your children that they matter.  Accept your role as their parent, but not their only navigator through life.   Ask God to bring the right people into your life and give you the courage to be vulnerable.  

You've got this!

For more, follow me on social media and check out my books.  All links in the right-hand column.  

My Favorite Things: Gifts for Young Black Boys (Adoption Talk Link-Up)

'tis the season, Sugars!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!   Yep, it's in all caps.

This month, I'll be sharing my favorite things, starting with today's Adoption Talk Linkup post focusing on gifts for young Black boys.  I hope these suggestions inspire you to put them on your child's wish list and purchase them for other children (nieces and nephews, cousins, friends, kids you select from the local angel tree, etc.).  Today we're focusing on gifts for young Black boys.  All these items can be purchased from the links I share.  (I do not have an Amazon affiliate account, and I do not profit from sharing these items with you).

Stinkykid Doll Billy:  This is my son's favorite doll.  Billy is soft, adorable, and has curly black hair and medium/dark brown skin.



Corolle Mini Black Boy Doll (see him the middle row to the far left):  This doll is small and sturdy.  We had to call several specialty toy stores in order to order him, because these lots of dolls are sold to toy stores as shown.  You cannot JUST order a specific doll from a website like Amazon.   We found our doll at a toy store in Chicago who shipping him to us.  He ended up costing about $17, which is a lot for a small doll of his size, but he's absolutely adorable and well-made.   (The newer dolls, see second image below, are also for sale in toy stores.  The doll in the middle of the back row is a Black boy.)



Circo Mini Babies Dolls:  These are a cheaper alternative to the dolls above.  Target sells the mini dolls for about $5 each.   Though they aren't specifically girl or boy, you could purchase clothing to make your doll more "boy" looking.   These are also well-made and travel well, and you can't beat the price!  They are not sold online, so you must find them in store.  These make great stocking stuffers.


I Am So Brave! (Empowerment Series):  We LOVE this board book.  The art is simulatenously modern and vintage.  The colors are bright.  The message is empowering.  The entire plot stars a Black boy.




The Snowy Day:  You cannot go wrong with this book.  It's timeless!  It's classic!   My kids love the part where the snow goes "plop" on Peter's head and when Peter drags his feet through the snow.  Themes of friendship, of joy, of creativity.  



Joshua By the Sea:  There are three Joshua books, and this one is our favorite.  The illustrations are simple and soothing, and the words are calming.  All three books star Joshua, a young Black boy.



Peekaboo Morning:  This book is fun, bright, and always makes my son smile and giggle.  The character could be a Black boy or Black girl (the book doesn't clarify).



Art from TheExtentofSilence on Etsy:  We love her artwork.  (She's the illustrator for some of the LemonStarfish books including Princess Truly and the Hungry Bunny Problem).



Hallmark's Personalized Books, including THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS:  You can personalize the book's main character (skin, hair, eye, gender) and the name which appears on the cover and throughout the book.



Fisher-Price Little People Wheelie:  These are fun to play with alone or with a designated set.  Makes a great stocking stuffer.  Affordable, sturdy, adorable.




Hallmark African American Ornaments:  There are always a handful to choose from every year.  Here are a few available this year.

An InLinkz Link-up

Now on to the Adoption Talk Linkup!

Today's topic is Names. Grab a button for your post and join Erin, Jamie, Jenni, Jill, Madeleine, Rachel, and me!

New to linking up? We'd love to have you join us, here's how.

<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.nobohnsaboutit.com" title="No Bohns About It"><img src="http://www.nobohnsaboutit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/ATButton.jpg" alt="No Bohns About It" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

'tis the Season to Get Ready: Gifts for Kids of Color

Hi, Sugars:

I'm thrilled to share with you that effective immediately, you can follow me on Twitter and Facebook to get daily suggestions on the best gifts for kids of color.

For many years now, I've been completely obsessed with children's books, art, games, toys, music, apparel, hair products and accessories, and videos that feature characters of color, Black history themes, etc.  I'll also be highlighting media the promotes diversity and adoption education (for both adults and kids).  I've written several articles on the subject, but these articles end up getting buried in a website's content, not seen by as many people who can benefit from them.  

To streamline the fabulous resources and gifts I've discovered, I'm sharing them all on my IG and Twitter accounts.  Everything I post is something my family has personally purchased, borrowed, or observed!

Are you ready to fill your feeds and accounts with fabulousness?  

Many of the resources posted are listed in my books, but my IG and Twitter accounts will add new suggestions not listed in the books as well.  

I'm so excited about this project!  

The Art of Chanel Christoff Davis (and a Coupon Code!)

Welcome our newest advertiser, Chanel!  She's the owner of a fabulous art company that sells notecards, canvas prints, art prints, greeting cards, home goods, apparel, and more! 

Chanel shares:

I grew up in the most amazing and magical city in the United States. Visiting my hometown of New Orleans is like opening a wonderful, colorful, vibrant, and musical living art history book. With such a creative and colorful beginning, having some sort of artistic talent is almost guaranteed. I have dabbled in all sorts of visual arts my entire life. I have taken up photography, scrapbooking, crocheting, and sewing to name a few.

 

I started painting to fill the walls of my first adult home after I got married. I never really picked up a paintbrush before that time. From that first experience of painting, I knew I was on to something special and I have not stop painting since.

 

My muse for much of my children’s art is my daughter. You will see her likeness in a lot of my paintings. In fact she inspired my series “Meme and Friends.” I wanted to fill my home with positive and joyful representations of people of color so that my daughter would see those images growing up.

 

My art is very colorful and vibrant, that’s why my tagline is “A Splash of Color to Brighten Your Heart Everyday”.

 

I will be working on new holiday themed paintings for the next couple of months, so check back often to see all of my latest creations.

 

Want something you don't see? Email me at: chanel@christoffdavis.com

 

Chanel has offered White Sugar, Brown Sugar readers a 10% off coupon code (use SUGAR at checkout) on their first purchase of small or large notecards.

 

Learn more about Chanel's art by connecting with her on Facebook, Instagram (ChristoffDavis), and Twitter.