What's the Deal With Essential Oils? A Conversation With Meghan Joy Yancy

I'm going to be totally honest with you (always).   I am like SO not cool.  Not on-trend.   With anything:  health, music, television shows, books, fashion.  

But after learning I had breast cancer (disease #2, since the #1 spot was taken by type 1 diabetes) last summer, a friend of mine (also a survivor) suggested sniffing essential oils.  Like taking a deep whiff when I was feeling another wave of debilitating anxiety.  I had a few oils in my bathroom drawer. So I took her advice, even though I was like, essential oils, what?  

Now if you know me, you know I'm a major skeptic when it comes to all-things-health.  I don't believe in magical cures, diet plans (like no carbs---because, are you freaking kidding me?!?---heavily referenced in my latest book), or pills that make you a health superstar.  How are essential oils any different?  Well I'll tell you the truth:  taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the oil, DID offer me some temporary relief from my anxiety.  

Curiosity got the best of me, and I reached out to a fellow blogger and mama of a big, multiracial family:  Meghan Joy Yancy.  She knows all about essential oils, and she told me I could ask her anything.  Anything?  Yes, anything.  So I did just that.

Rachel:  First, you have a big, beautiful, multiracial family and another little one on the way:  a baby girl!  HOW in the world do you stay sane? 

MJY:  Haha! Jesus. Really though, my faith in God. He is my rock. And there are so many factors that play a role in my sanity. I’m a huge advocate of SAYING NO (even to good things) because I believe a more simple life is the key to that secret sauce of happiness. I’m not talking about laziness but I am referring to leading a life of less busy-ness. My husband is my partner in life and we make such a great team so we really help balance one another out well. And there are definitely still days of crazy chaos, but I’m learning to embrace them and learn from them.

Rachel:  Can I be honest with you?  When the essential oil trend began (and to this day), I’m a skeptic.  I don’t believe in magical cures.  As a type 1 diabetic and breast cancer survivor, I know that there are many tracks to good health, not just ONE thing. So pitch to me, please.  How can essential oils, overall, boost a person or family’s health?  

MJY:  Can I be honest with you, too? I WAS A SKEPTIC TOO! And then I started using the oils and my world flipped upside down. And truth be told, it’s an entire lifestyle of health and wellness that I believe so. When I started using YL essential oils, my eyes were open to so much more. I began researching more about the food that we ate and the products we put on our skin. It opened the door for a completely new lifestyle for myself and my family. And I can truthfully say that our health has just continued to benefit from using the oils and making many other changes in our life. That being the food we eat, the products we use and the atmosphere we surround ourselves with.

Rachel:  We’re right in the midst of sick season. Flu.  Colds.  Croup.   Strep.  You name it.  Can you suggest some specific ways essential oils can help a family get through? 

MJY:  First of all, I wanted to just clarify that any suggestions made are specific to Young Living Essential Oils and not be used with oils from another source. Any statements I make have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Anyone suffering from disease or injury should consult with a physician. That all being said, in our home, we use Thieves EO for all our immune boosting needs! We have it running in our diffuser, rub on the bottoms of our feet and create some great all-natural chest rubs with RC (for respiratory support) as well. We drink the Thieves Vitality oil in our tea and I even will take it in an empty vegetable capsule when I need an extra immune system boost. I also like to add Purification EO to our diffuser as it purifies the air while neutralizing odors. Win win, baby!

Rachel:  As I’ve shared, I struggle with anxiety (like many moms!), as does one of my children.  Can essential oils help me ease some of my symptoms?  

MJY:  There are so many oils that can help bring emotional balance to people of all ages. I love making specific rollerball blends for each of my children that will cater to each of their needs. StressAway EO is a great oil for moms! I love to put a rollerball top straight on the bottle and rub it on my neck and shoulders. Besides smelling amazing, it holds properties that help you achieve that emotional balance and release stress. For my kids, my go-to oil is always lavender. It helps brings feelings of peace and calm and is great to diffuse close to bedtime. Gentle Baby EO is a gem I love to sprinkle on the babies blankets and pajamas before naptime or bedtime for a calming atmosphere. Some other great oils to create a blend for that emotional support are Cedarwood, Vetiver, Valor, Patchouli, Joy and Peace + Calming.

Rachel:  I'm ridiculous when it comes to makeup.  Like I stand in the aisle at the store or stare blankly at my computer screen:  frustrated and confused.  I usually walk away with NOTHING or too much of what doesn't even end up looking good on me!  I'm also really wanting to live as healthy as possible:  so I want QUALITY and safe ingredients.   Talk to me about makeup, since girl, you ALWAYS look stunning in your IG pics.  I need to know your secrets!

MJY:  You are too kind! I was actually never too much into makeup (or at least didn’t know much about it until I started youtubin’ a little bit. And then it was fun!) And once I began using YL essential oils and my eyes were opened to the toxins in our every day products, I discovered that a lot of those toxins are in our freakin’ makeup we smear on our faces every day! Women are exposed to over 150 chemicals each day from the makeup we put on our faces. They have horrible side affects on our bodies as well. I knew I needed an alternative and I made the full on switch once YL launched their Savvy Minerals makeup line and it has been extraordinary! I learned the difference between safe and quality products and I took it seriously the ones I’m putting on my face. Plus, I’ve been able to play around with the line and create some really fun looks. The minerals are so interchangeable so I can use the eyeshadow as a shade of lipgloss and I can use the blush or bronzer as a eyeshadow. 

Rachel:  If there’s one thing you’d like to tell the world about essential oils, especially someone like me who is pretty darn clueless, what would it be?

MJY:  That they are a natural part of the earth and people have been using essential oils since the beginning of time. Somehow, they got lost along the way and we are just now beginning to get back to more natural remedies. There are so many alternatives out there and I just encourage people to do your own research. Beginning this lifestyle with essential oils has been absolutely life-changing for me in so many ways and their benefits are available to everyone. The one thing I always say when someone asks me if an essential oil can be used for “so-and-so” is… There is an oil for that. There is ALWAYS an oil for that.

Starting today through Sunday, MJY is giving away an incredible Young Living Essential Oils bundle.  Visit me on Instagram to enter!  

Want to snag some essential oils for yourself or learn more about joining the Young Living team?  Contact Meghan via Insta or e-mail today! 

5 Easy and Practical Health Tips for Busy Moms

So, it's then end of January.

That means most of us have quit our new year's resolutions by now.  Because they were probably ridiculously lofty goals like lose thirty pounds in two seconds, attend hot yoga three times a week, or never eat carbs again.

As a busy mom of four, a breast cancer survivor, and a type 1 diabetic (got all that?), I KNOW that health is important, but I don't have TIME to do much about it.  (Meaning time to make an incredible health plan AND follow it through.)  Plus, doesn't being healthy seem so darn complicated these days?  Every week, there's a new fitness fad, innovative diet, supplement suggestion, and magical must-eat food.   

Frankly, it's exhausting and defeating to try to keep up.   

But there are some basic health things that never change.  And they really aren't that complicated, expensive, or difficult.   I promise.   

So from me to you, here are five easy health steps you can take as a busy mom: 

1:  Drink a smoothie a day.

I love smoothies because they are:  healthy, inexpensive, energizing, hydrating, and easy.  For the on-the-go lady, it's nice to to create an on-the-go breakfast or snack.  I pour mine into a cup, add a straw, hop into my minivan, and go about my day.  Smoothies keep your digestion regular, too.  

Now there are no fewer than 1,000,000 smoothie recipes out there, but it's really NOT complicated. First, I make mine in a generic Magic Bullet (yep, it's true!).   My smoothies are pretty basic, too.  I use one scoop of protein powder (I prefer this one, approved by my integrative cancer treatment center's dietitian), water or green tea (cooled), frozen fruit of my choosing (usually berries, because they're low on the glycemic index, but sometimes I'll use mango or kiwi), and spinach leaves (they have NO taste in smoothies but are so healthy!  I usually add a tablespoon of ground flaxseed (as part of my anti-cancer diet).  I choose to go all-organic with my ingredients.  That's it!   

Just experiment.  Some people like a peanut butter and banana smoothie.  You can blend this with your favorite milk and some cinnamon.   Some prefer a fruity smoothie (like I do).  Others even go for a coffee-based smoothie (though it's not as nutrient dense without the fruits and veggies added). (I drink my smoothie and a cup of coffee every morning.)  I recommend making your own, as the smoothies sold via a drive-thru tend to be FULL of sugar and calories that aren't at all healthy.   

2:  Make your checkup appointments, and then SHOW UP.

It's early in the year.  The calendar is WIDE open.  Make your yearly appointments now.  That means your gynecologist, your dentist, your eye doctor, and any specialists you see (a skin check by a dermatologist is a good idea!).  You might even pick a single day or two days and do all of your appointments in that time period.   And please, don't cancel the appointments!   Remember my story?  Because of my persistence and the timing of my appointments, I caught my breast cancer early. Don't procrastinate, because you'll convince yourself later in the year that you are "too busy" for your health.

3:  Choose exercise you like.

A lot of my mom friends are runners.  Let me be clear:  I HATE RUNNING.  (You know this if you read my latest book.  I go on a RANT about it like a toddler.  You're welcome.)  But I love outdoor walks (not power walking either: bleck).   Light weight lifting.  And I play dance games on my kids XBOX.   These all count.

What gives you energy?  Clears your mind?  Lifts your spirit?  That's what you need to be doing.  Don't worry about what's trendy!  Exercise doesn't have to be misery-inducing or expensive. Nor is there a magical length of time to exercise.  If you get in fifteen minutes, consider that a win for the day!   

Benefits of exercise include:  strength and endurance building, confidence boosting, anxiety reducing, sleep improving, mood balancing.  And of course, if you're not working out and then pigging out (or have an underlying medical issue), exercise helps you maintain or lose weight.   When I work out, my personal goal is to feel stronger and healthier, to have more stamina for my day-to-day activities, and to reduce my anxiety.  I'm a scale-snob, honestly, and rarely ever weigh myself.  

4:  Get some fresh air.  

Many Americans are vitamin D deficient which is NOT good considering vitamin D is vital to good health!  Get outside and get some sun exposure.  And when you're at your yearly check up with your gynecologist or GP, ask for your vitamin D level to be checked.  You may need a supplement. (Vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin:  because of this, I prefer this supplement as a two-in-one.) But back to fresh air:  it does WONDERS.   I know, some places it's REALLY cold right now.  But bundle up and walk to your mailbox.  Take some deep breaths.   Fresh air gives you energy and mental clarity.   

5: Address mental health concerns.

So many of my mom friends are struggling with anxiety, and too many of them try to push through it instead of addressing it.  Treat your mental health just as you would your physical health.   I've been quite vocal on my struggle with anxiety, but how sharing my story has helped others (including one of my own children who also has anxiety).   Gynecologists and general practitioners may not be mental health professionals, but they are great starting points for seeking resources for further treatment options.   Don't continue to struggle in silence.   Reach out for help and consider the options you have to take control and feel better.    Dear one, being a mom is HARD.  Adopting is HARD.  Even thinking about adopting is HARD.   It's OK to admit that and confront it, head on!  

Finally, just know that there are NO MAGIC FIXES for health.  Don't buy expensive products that promise amazing results, subscribe to the "perfect" diet, decide you're going to go from "tired mom" (that's me) to fitness champion in three weeks with the help of some supplement your girlfriend has tried.   Healthy living for the long-haul should be reality-based.

Dear Sugar: A Letter to My Boobs During Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Today I'm sharing my very recent journey.

Dear Boobs:

Ali Cummins Photography

I used to want you so bad.  It started in the third grade.  I heard a few girls on the playground gushing over a girl named Jessica.  Why?  They caught a glimpse of, wait for it....a bra strap.  Jessica was one of the cool girls with naturally gorgeous blonde hair (long and flowy, like a Disney princess), an on-trend wardrobe, and now, developing breasts. 

Around this same time, Judy Blume’s book Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret was becoming increasingly popular among girls my age, especially the section where the protagonist did a pectoral exercise while chanting, “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.”   

Boobs were it. If a girl possessed breasts (no matter how small), she possessed prestige, admiration, and maturity:  three things I desperately strived for. 

The next year at my January birthday party, my mom was creative.  Though it was frigid outside, we had a beach-themed party.   My friends and I wore our swimsuits, we had a cake that looked like an island, we made seashell necklaces, and we listened to my dad’s Beach Boys records.   

Before I headed down the carpeted steps to greet my first guest, I folded the swimsuit's shelf-bra liner up a few times to create (I thought) the appearance of curves.  Of course instead it just looked like wadded-up fabric (which was exactly what it was). 

Despite my efforts, even insisting that my mom buy me a lacy, pearl embellished training bra at JCPenney, long before I needed one, you refused to make your debut until I was well into the eighth grade.  Even then, you were nothing impressive.  I was long, lean, and awkward with zero athletic ability.  And you started to emerge (and it took all of high school for this cycle to be complete), my desire for you was replaced with the next milestone:  starting my period.   I didn’t appreciate you as I should have, even when I went from an A cup to a (pushing it) B cup.  

You managed to look OK enough through college and even in my Maggie Sottero two-piece wedding dress.  The corset top still required sewed-in push up pads, but you showed up well enough.   For four years, I enjoyed married life with confidence in my body, eventually joining a gym and relishing in building muscle while gossiping with girlfriends and half-assing it in step class. 

During this season, I found a breast lump, and persisted on having it examined and later extracted.  It was nothing but a non-cancerous mass.  At the time I was terrified, but I managed to handle it and move on.  

Then 2004 happened.  I was in graduate school, teaching writing to college freshman (who were just four years younger than me), and ended up getting a weird stomach virus.  That's a long story, but a year-and-half later, after over twenty medical appointments with five medical professionals, I wound up in the ER in Diabetic Ketoacidosis.  I finally had a diagnoses:  type 1 diabetes.   I was very fortunate to be alive.

I then began gaining back all the weight (and then some) that I had lost when my body went toxic.   Gaining weight meant gaining something I never really had before:  breasts!  Like real ones that looked ah-mazing in V-neck tops and swimsuit tops.  Diabetes sucked, but at least I got a few perks, including C-cup breasts.  

After the diabetes diagnosis, that's when I knew we would adopt.  My body had been through hell.  I wasn't willing to risk going down that path again, nor was I going to put a baby through that.   Adoption was the right choice for us.  

We had two children through adoption by 2011 when another knot appeared.  Another surgery, biopsy, and declaration that though it was a mass, it wasn’t cancerous.   In the clear.     

Breast ultrasounds and examinations by doctors became my norm.   I came to not only expect extra steps to be taken, but for the news to be good.   I almost felt like a professional.   Here I had experienced not only two breast lumps but a traumatic diagnosis and incredible survival story.   Surely I had enough things go wrong that from then on, everything would go right.   How could it not?

Six more years, two more children.  One of whom I had a nursing relationship with.   

Then this April...I figured my "extremely dense breasts" were throwing me another curve ball.  I figured the new lump was normal.  It wasn't.  

Breast cancer does not discriminate.  It does not care what color someone's skin is, how old she is, or even her history.  It does not care if someone has all or none of the "risk factors" we women hear so much about.  

It chose me.  It appeared, swiftly and angerly.  I do not know why.  I have been over it a thousand times.  Was it something I did?  Is it just because my body is whacked out?  Is it just the fact that one in eight women get breast cancer, and I was that "one"?  Why?  Why me?   Why after one disease did a second one arrive?

I could have preserved you, I was told.  I could have chosen a lumpectomy and six weeks of radiation.  But there was a possibility that I'd need to later do a mastectomy anyway.  That the cancer would come back, sneakily, in the opposite breast.  

I had a choice, certainly, but my goal was to give myself the best chance of not only survival, but for a life with less anxiety and doubt.  I needed peace, reassurance, and odds in my favor.  

So I chose to let you go. 

I gave you some good, hard looks.  I committed you to memory.   I hugged my kids and my husband a little tighter against you.   I realized you were JUST boobs but you were still boobs:  your importance and status instilled in me since childhood.  

On the day of my surgery, I was both nervous and confident.  I could do this.  I could do anything in Christ who gives me strength.  This wasn't an ending, but a second-chance, a powerful beginning.  

It's been a long month-and-a-half since the surgery.  I look down at you.  You are new and foreign, different and present, artificial and yet MINE.  You were purchased and chosen.  You are strange.

I do not regret my decision to bid the original you farewell.  It was the right and best choice.  Recovery has been tumultuous, a never-ending roller coaster of physical and emotional and mental and spiritual ups and downs.  And I have a feeling that recovery isn't just a season of physical healing, but a forever-state of remembering and considering.  Losing you left me scarred, physically and emotionally.  

But losing you also meant potentially saving my life.

   

I am sorry we couldn't be together forever, or at least longer. I miss you, though I'll be honest that most days I don't think too much about you.   My personality of "go big or go home" helped me decide to tell you goodbye and move forward.

I know I'll never be completely over you.  Cancer changes a person, inevitably and irrevocably.   Not having you is a constant reminder of what was, but I refuse to live steeped in regret and shame.  

My journey has been one of learning and listening.  Every time bad news arrived, I felt a new wave of spiritual warfare come over me.  But this time when I was told that having cancer meant possibly saying goodbye to you, I thought to myself, this isn't my first rodeo.  I've faced hard and scary times before, and every time I emerged victorious, stronger, and more confident.  

Cancer disrupted my life.  But it didn't defeat me.  My story, my journey, it continues.  And I have you to both blame and thank.   I have memories and a future.  I have hope.

Dear Sugar: My Two Big Secrets

Ali Cummins Photography

Dear Sugar,

So I’ve been keeping two big secrets.  And as promised, today I’m finally able to “spill the beans” and reveal what’s been going on.  

***Takes big, deep breath***

Be patient with me, dear one.  This takes courage and faith and vulnerability, three things I’m not always very good at. 

Secret #1: 

In April of this year, I found a breast lump.  I wasn’t alarmed, as I’ve had them in the past.  Genetics gave me the “gift” of lumpy, dense boobs.  In fact, I’ve had two lumps removed already, both benign:  mere hiccups in my life plans.  

This time was different. 

I went to my gynecologist who agreed we should do some further testing.  She sent me to get a mammogram and ultrasound.  Both of these took longer than usual, and I was concerned.   However, I got a call the very next day that said that everything looked pretty darn normal.  I should go back in six months and have the tests repeated, just to be safe.   I momentarily breathed a sigh of relief.

But I couldn’t let the feeling go that something was wrong.   Call it a woman’s intuition, a gut feeling, or Jesus telling me to listen to my body: but the nudging was strong. 

I called my gynecologist’s office and told them the lump felt bigger and heavier.   My infant, who is held almost all the time (no shame in "spoiling" my baby girl!), kept head-butting my chest, right where the lump was.  Not to mention, my seat belt and cross-body purse were constantly rubbing over the sensitive area.  It wasn’t just uncomfortable, but it was painful.  It was as if my daughter was telling me:  mom, something's not right. And the straps and seat belts would remind me also.     

The nurse gave me a list of local surgeons and said I could pursue getting additional support.  I immediately called the closest surgeon’s office and set up an appointment.   After meeting the surgeon and having yet another ultrasound, she agreed we should to a biopsy so we could find out what we were dealing with.   I had the biopsy a few days before our family's June vacation.  Two weeks later, I returned to the surgeon’s office.  And that’s when the poop hit the fan. 

No one is ever prepared to be told she has breast cancer.   I sat there on a paper-covered table, covered in a thin, mauve gown, while the surgeon went on to discuss “treatment options” and getting an MRI.  She used big, scary words and shared nail-biting statistics. I don't remember much of what she said to me, but I left that office armed with ten (yes, ten) glossy brochures, all featuring middle-aged and older women on the front and the words BREAST CANCER scrolled across the top in pink, scripted font (as if this was an exclusive party invitation and not a devastating diagnosis).    

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind.  How the hell is this fair?  I already have one disease, and now I get another one?   I have FOUR kids who rely on me for everything.   I’m going to die.   What if I need a mastectomy?   Chemotherapy?  Radiation?  

My summer was spent consumed with appointments, phone calls, tests, and lots and lots of waiting.  Waiting for results, waiting to meet with another medical professional, waiting for my surgery date.

I’m not ready to tell the whole story now.  I don’t have the energy.  I’m still only in my second week of recovery from the treatment option I chose.  I can’t lift my arms above my head, I can’t shower without supervision, I can’t lift or bend over.   I’m in this weird recovery prison where a nurse comes to my house to make sure I’m still kickin’, and people speak to me in soft, gentle voices, as if I'm a fragile toddler who might lose her cool at any minute.  I'm OK about 95% of the time, but the other 5% is hell.   

  

So I’m going to fast forward to the good news:  I learned after my surgery that I went from “a woman with breast cancer” to “a breast cancer survivor.” Meaning:  I am cancer-free.   Praise God!

 

Ali Cummins Photography

 But Rach, you remind me, what’s the other secret? 

Yes, dear reader!   Let’s get to it! 

Secret #2:

As of a few days ago, the book I’ve labored over for months and months, The Hopeful Mom's Guide to Adoption, is now available!   The boob drama delayed the publication of my book, which ended up being a blessing in disguise.  I was able to take a step back from being immersed in the push to publish and make some revisions and add some finishing touches, including this stunning cover that invites you into the world of domestic, infant adoption.   

^^^Click on the image to get details.

Sugar, I wrote this book for the woman who wants to adopt but is standing on shaky ground.  Choosing to adopt isn’t for the faint at heart.  It’s for those willing to have their hearts broken and mended on repeat. There are SO many questions about ethics, open adoption, attachment, choosing an adoption professional, responding to nosy strangers, affording adoption, finding a support group, and more.  I answer them all:  with my whole heart, with my decade of experience, and with YOU in mind.  This is the book I wish I would have had ten years ago.

I invited several ladies from the adoption community to review the book. Here is some of what they said:  

Whew!  If you’ve made it this far into the post, cheers to you! I appreciate your readership:  your love, support, and encouragement.  This detour was certainly unexpected, but it also created space for more friends, more lessons, and more hope. 

 

Ali Cummins Photography

I promise to share more of the story in the future, but for now, I have a good book (wink, wink) to curl up with and so do you!   I can’t wait to hear what you think about it!

Cheers to us, Sugar!