Giveaway #13: Princess and the Frog Bow

I had the pleasure of meeting Dominica and her beautiful daughter at the library one day. We struck up a conversation and became friends. Her products, custom hair bows and more, are beautiful! She has graciously offered to give one of her Princess and the Frog hair bows to a lucky blog reader.

My name is Dominica Acord and I have been married for 9 years this June. I have a 3 year old little princess named Madalyn. Before having Madalyn, I was working to obtain my bachelors in Elementary Education but now I am a stay at home mom and enjoy every minute of it!

I started making bows as soon as I found out I was having a little girl. My husband oftens jokes that when I was pregnant he would wake up in the middle of the night to find me making hairbows. :-) I just recently in the last year started making bows to sell

I make all different types of bows for little girls. I love to make bows to custom match an outfit. I also make custom wipe cases, ribbon skirts, and bow flip flips. I just recently purchased an embroidery machine so hope to add custom shirts here soon also.

You can visit her shop here.

GIVEAWAY ITEM: Princess and the Frog bow.

WAYS TO ENTER: 1: Becoming a blog follower and leave a comment telling me you did so. 2: Post about the giveaway on Facebook and tell me you did so via a comment. 3: Post about the giveaway on your blog and leave me a comment telling me you did so. 4: Visit Dominica's shop and tell me what your favorite item is.

WHEN, WHERE, and HOW: Enter up to four times on this blog post from now until noon on June 3. A winner will be posted on June 3. The winner is responsible for contacting Dominica to claim her prize. Special thanks to Dominica for supporting kids of all colors by making beautiful products!

Guest Blogging

If you would like to write a guest blog post, I'd love to hear your ideas! Leave a comment on this post stating your name, your website (if you have one), and your blog post idea. Blog posts need to be adoption-related, detailed, concise, and interesting. I can't wait to hear from you!!

Art Winner

Melissa!

CONGRATS!!! See the original post on how to claim your prize.

Guest Blog Post: The Heart of This Adoptive Parent

By: Holly

I used to be naive, so naive. I used to see only the good in adoption. Granted, this was long ago. Then when we began the adoption process for the first time, (and even the second, if I'm being truthful), I had a bit of a "savior mentality", or the idea that I was somehow saving my girls from an otherwise undesirable life. (I won't lie and say they would have just as much physically or socially if they were not with me, but these are small, maybe moderate benefits that do not compare at ALL with the losses they have had to endure). I patted myself on the back a little bit and though I felt uncomfortable when folks sang our praises for what an amazing thing we were doing, I too believed that ultimately we were on a noble course.

Now, I want you to know that my children are by FAR the GREATEST blessings in my life. My love for them runs so deep and true. I would be beside myself should anything happen to any one of them... should anyone hurt my babies. The truth though is that they have been hurt. And though it is not my fault, at least it was beyond my control... and believe me, my husband and I have dealt with the misplaced guilt of taking our children away from their first families, cultures, countries.... my very adoption of them plays a role in their loss.


I didn't think too much about what my girls were losing; I acknowledged it in some sort of way, but I looked to the poster children of international adoption, the older adult adoptees who claimed that adoption was great, that they didn't think about or miss or grieve any part of their roots. And these adoptees exist, and their point of view and their spin on it all is valid. It is! But the more I read and the more I talk with people, the more I realize that there is also a large crowd of adult adoptees that speak candidly about their hurts, about their losses, about the things that cannot ever be reconciled. Even after reunion. Even though they love their parents; both sets.

And I see my girls in this second group. Not because I'm pinning it on them, not because we "talk too much about adoption", but because it's real. They feel deeply, they tell us when they are hurting. They talk about Korea, about Ethiopia. They talk about the people who are missing from their lives and how that makes them feel. They love us and we love them... but love, here on this earth... is not enough to heal earthly wounds. My love is good. My love is never-failing. It is a mother's love. But it can't replace the love that should have been. I'm learning to be okay with that. The reason it is hard is not because I *want* to replace that love with mine, but because I know the heartache it causes in them. My babies. And when they hurt, I hurt. When Bereket says "I miss my mommy!" as she lays in her bed at night, I know what mommy she is talking about... it hurts me... not because it's not me in that moment, but because it hurts her... because life isn't fair. When Ellie says "I miss my Korea family" I know that even though she has no memories of them, she is speaking honestly about that which is missing from her life... people who are *supposed* to be present.

I know the truth... I know that if we hadn't adopted our girls then someone else would have. I know that my *not* adopting them wouldn't have enabled them to stay where they were and certainly wouldn't have enabled them to return to their first families... too many social and economic problems and not enough support w/in their country systems. What does God think about all that??? (a post for another day!) And yet I realize, humbly, that their being with me specifically (vs. another adoptive family), is somehow meant to be... that for some unknown

reason, God decided to knit us together as a family... out of hurt, out of loss, out of circumstances that humans created and nurtured because we are human and we will continually miss the mark.


If I could give advice to parents who are thinking about adopting internationally, I would say this:

Listen to the voices of adult adoptees; take their words to heart. Ponder them carefully and absorb and acknowledge the truth that your children will experience multiple losses that will affect them their entire lives. I'm not saying they can't and won't live fulfilling and happy lives... make no mistake... but the losses are real and they cause pain. Don't be afraid to talk about them with your children. So many folks are incredulous or amazed that my girls have shed tears (esp. the one that came to us at just 6mos of age) and expressed sorrow over their losses. Even fellow adoptive parents... the thing is, if you don't start the conversations with your children, they may never feel that it is okay to talk about these things and they will bury or stuff them. Christian parents must be especially careful, as the Christian community in general is quick to tell the adoptee how very blessed they are. There is nothing shameful in feeling sorrow over loss and the adoptee is no more blessed than the bio child. Your children will take their cues from you, so be proactive.

You can read more by Holly at her family's blog.

It Dawned Upon Me...

that sometimes I am so focused on learning about adoption and race issues that I forget what matters most: that my children grow up doing God's will in their lives, not fitting into or out of a box based on their adoptions or the color of their skin. Ultimately, their lives are in God's hands, not mine or society's, thankfully.


I hope today, no matter your circumstances, your hangups, or your fears, that God gives you "daily bread" and helps you see the bigger picture.

Giveaway #12: Princess Art

I discovered Erin's work on Etsy last month. Her art is unique, colorful, and imaginative.

I live in Maplewood NJ with my husband and daughter (about to turn 5). It is a culturally and ethnically diverse community (like our family) only 15 miles from NYC. My husband and daughter are my joy, art is my passion, cooking, enjoying, and sharing gluten-free (my dedication), and gardening (my challenge - I think I missed the green thumb gene). I work from home and am dedicated to making a success of my art and illustration business. I now sell my towels and cards wholesale to stores and am enjoying that piece of my business.

Erin Go Paint is my Etsy shop name. A play on my name, Erin, and Erin-Go-Bragh (which I heard every imaginable lingerie version of while growing up), and it is my mantra. I love to draw and paint, and need to do it to feel whole, centered and connected. If I get unfocused or cranky (sometimes it happens) then I tell myself "Erin, go Paint!"

I work mostly in watercolor creating illustrations and fine art pieces. Vibrant colors are my favorite. My subjects include shoes, animals, architecture, still lifes, and children. I paint quite realistically but often use unexpected colors or angles. I love working with a strong light source for the contrast it creates.

I sell original paintings, matted prints and natural flour sack towels printed with illustrations.

I opened my Erin Go Paint in December 2008 to create an online presence to sell my work. I had just re-dedicated myself to creating and painting again on a regular basis and thought the shop would help keep me motivated. It worked. I started with just 4 listings and now have about 120. The goal has been to create enough income from my art to give up my day job, work from home and have more time with my daughter. Slowly working its way in that direction.

My daughter loves fairy tales. Loves Fairy tales, fables, myths – you name it. Books, stories, videos, movies, toys. The fantasies and characters are ever present in our home and in her imagination. I was inspired to illustrate her as the princesses and heroines of her favorite stories so that the big "D" wouldn't be her sole source of how a princess can look. Especially as an adoptive mom. She doesn't look like me or so many of the princesses in mainstream books, movies, etc. So I was inspired and driven. She loves to pose for me - and loves them all hanging in her room. And, I am so happy other girls of color are enjoying them too. I continue to add to my collection of Princesses of Color.

GIVEAWAY ITEM: One 5x7 Princess art print of the winner's choosing.

WAYS TO ENTER: 1: Becoming a blog follower and leave a comment telling me you did so. 2: Post about the giveaway on Facebook and tell me you did so via a comment. 3: Post about the giveaway on your blog and leave me a comment telling me you did so. 4: Visit Erin's Etsy shop and tell me what your favorite item is.

WHEN, WHERE, and HOW: Enter up to four times on this blog post from now until noon on May 29. A winner will be posted on May 29. The winner is responsible for setting up an Etsy account and contacting Erin to claim her prize. Special thanks to Erin for supporting kids of all colors by making beautiful products!

Real Sisters?

If I'm asked one more time if my girls are REAL sisters, I might lose it. While on vacation last week, we were asked this multiple times. Our answer is always, "Yes."

Of course they are REAL sisters. They have the same parents, fight and make up, kiss, and play, just like REAL sisters do. They have moods and girl drama (yep, even in infant and toddler-hood), just like REAL sisters. Baby E pulls at Miss E's afro and Miss E says "ouch" while smiling (because she truly loves the attention and touch), just like REAL sisters.

There is nothing un-REAL about our family or my girls' bond.