I am quite tired of Christians promoting the idea that "adoption is the BEST option" for an unmarried, young (or youngish) woman who finds herself pregnant and often alone. What Bible did they pull this idea from? And what gives any person the right to tell another what she should be doing with her own flesh and blood?
I am convinced...
that young mothers and single mothers can be good mothers. But they often need support to do so.
that adoptive families aren't perfect, and behind the Disney vacations and four bedroom homes, they have issues, too. We aren't saints. We are just people.
that, as a friend recently said, adoption has become the "Christian abortion." (In my humble explanation, and PLEASE read the comments below this post for more discussion on this statement/idea, Christians promote the idea of young women NOT aborting because if they really don't want their babies, which is a whole different argument/discussion, they should give them to families who "can't have their own.")
that adoption and abortion do not go hand-in-hand. They are two totally separate issues and decisions.
that adoption and abortion both create a lifetime of loss and grief.
that just because someone had sex outside of marriage doesn't mean the baby automatically should go to a "good family who can't have children."
that a baby has needs NOW, and that those needs must be considered...not just the feelings of the bio parents and/or the adoptive family.
that a mom who wants to parent her baby isn't selfish. She's a mother who wants to keep what is hers because she loves that child with all of her heart.
that a baby isn't a gift to be given away.
that all birth parents aren't courageous and unselfish for placing their babies. Perhaps they are just scared and pressured.
that the birth parents will eventually get over or "move past" the loss of their child through adoption.
that adoption is a loss, for everyone involved.
that my gain, as an adoptive parent, comes at a high cost to someone else.
that my baby is a wonderful blessing, no matter what.
that I am a "real mom" with "my own child."
that my daughter has two mothers. And that is OK.
that my child will experience joys and sorrows associated with her adoption.
that Christians need to offer an expectant mother support, not uneducated advice based on stereotypes and personal feelings.
that adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it isn't perfect or pretty.
that I will never stop thinking and praying for my daughter's biological mother.
that God can orchestrate an adoption situation even when humans are relentlessly attempting to screw it all up.
that this whole adoption thing is complicated beyond words.