Thursday, November 29, 2012

Doubts and Frustrations

I've been working very hard on wrapping up my final manuscript for publication.  I've ordered business cards, a t-shirt, and a tote bag---all ready for giveaways once the book comes out.  I've typed up the press release, gotten some fabulous book reviews to use for promotional purposes, and continued to build my audience through my book's Facebook page.  

Writing and publishing a book has been my dream since I was a little girl.    And it's finally, finally coming true.

But doubts and frustrations keep cropping up, threatening my confidence, enthusiasm, and determination.   

First, let me say that most of the feedback I've received (probably 95% of it) has been positive and encouraging.   

But, we all know how tempting it is to focus on the negativity, not the positivity and possibility.

I've struggled with the fact that I may not be qualified enough to write this book.  There are plenty of experts out there (with the right letters after their name, the adoption-related higher education degrees, the 10, 20, or 30 year parenting experience) who have written books.     There are those who have parented far more children than me who have written books.  There are those who have powerful publishers backing their books.

And there's me.

I have to quiet myself and remember that writing this book is absolutely what I was meant to do.   I can look back on my journey to and through adoption thus far and see where God planted the right people, the right opportunities, the write ah-ha moments in my path to prepare me to write this book.

No one likes to be looked down upon, scrutinized, or doubted.     I'm no exception.    I'm fearful of "what ifs" that are honestly quite ridiculous and honestly, too self-centered.

You see, this book, though it was written by me, isn't for me or about me.  

I wrote this book because there is an obvious hole in the market, a lack of down-to-earth, practical, insightful, engaging books for parents hoping to (or have already) adopt Black children. 

I wrote this book because people have been telling me my whole life, especially in the past few years, to write a book (already). 

I wrote this book because I feel like God has told me to do so.

I wrote this book because I'm confident that it will help adoptive parents understand how to better navigate transracial adoption and parenting.

I wrote this book because there are people who need it.

I wrote this book because I have been gifted with the ability to write well.

I wrote this book because I have become connected with some of the greatest adoption professionals who are willing to contribute their words to my book, making it even more fabulous.

There have been setbacks.   Certain things have taken longer (much longer) than I planned. I have to be patient, knowing that the extra time will produce a better book.

Readers, I can't wait to share this book with you.  I know I often say "my book," but truly, this book isn't mine.  It belongs to those who choose to read it.

I appreciate those of you who have encouraged me time and time again.    I hope this book will make you proud!


2 comments:

2plus2mom said...

I can't wait to read it. While I like information from PhDs and 20-year veterans, what means more to me right now is advice from someone like me...in the trenches.

Veen said...

We're in the process of adopting internationally right now and I'm looking forward to reading your book when it comes out!

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