I've been thinking about three issues lately:
1: "I don't care if the baby is a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy." This line is said on TV shows and in real life. But what if your baby isn't "healthy"? Then what? It makes me think of something my daughter's teacher says when she gives each child a single Skittle as a reward in class. The kids sometimes get upset about the color of Skittle they get, but the teacher reminds them, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
Adoption---there are NO guarantees.
I'm not saying that having a child with special needs isn't a BIG deal. It is. Many of my friends are parenting children with physical and mental disabilities, attachment issues, and so on.
My rant is on the initial attitude of adoptive parents. I can't wait to adopt....but only if the baby is White. I can't wait to adopt....but only if the baby is light-brown, not dark-brown. I can't wait to adopt a GIRL. I can't wait to adopt a healthy baby.
Boo. I hate those checklists agencies make us fill out regarding what we will and will not accept in an adoption situation. They set us up for demanding a certain "type" of child.
2: Adoption-themed shows and films. I watch almost all of them: Teen Mom, Teen Mom 2, I'm Having Their Baby. I love Juno and October Baby despite their many faults.
I've been asked what I think of those shows.
I'm glad adoption is being talked about more. I'm glad adoption isn't the big secret it used to be. I'm glad these shows demonstrate how HARD adoption is on members of the adoption triad.
I guess with reality TV, you're gonna get drama. It's going to be sensationalized and exaggerated.
3: "You grew in my heart, not in my tummy." Ok, I know this isn't going to be popular. But I hate that adoption poem-of-sorts. It's super cheesy, it's overused, and it's frankly a little to hearts-and-butterflies for me.
My friend, an adoptive mother, shared this with me:
Someone said to her: "God made your child for you."
She said: "If God made my child for me, He would have put her in my belly. He didn't. She was made for her biological parents. They chose not to parent her."
That's HARD to hear as an adoptive parent, but I agree with her! God knew my children would come to be mine, but that doesn't mean He's not deeply saddened by the fact that my children are separated from their biological parents AND the loss that creates.
What bothers you most about adoption? Or what is grating your nerves at this moment? What do you do to combat them?