Thursday, November 5, 2015

National Adoption Month + Adoption Talk Linkup: No, I'm Not Angie's BFF (among other things)

Hi, Sugars!  Today on the Adoption Talk Linkup, anything goes!  I want to share with you, as a mom-by-adoption, some "nots":

  • I'm not best friends with Angelina Jolie. She didn't inspire me to adopt.  Never met her. Probably never will. 
  • I'm not one who believes "money is no object."  I'm a strong proponent of ethical adoptions, which includes financially responsible adoptions.
  • I'm not ever going to ask my kids to choose between us and their birth parents.  We can co-exist.  We do co-exist. 
  • I'm not ever going to shy away from correcting those who ask me why I didn't have "my own" kids.  My kids are my own.   
  • I will not succumb to strangers demanding that I divulge my kids' personal adoption stories. Yep, we are a real family, the kids are real siblings, and we are their real parents.
  • I'm not ever going to say that open adoption is the best choice.  Every adoption, every child, every situation is different.  Open adoption is hard.  It's complicated.  It's bittersweet.  For us, it's working.  
  • I will not ever going to stop worrying about the racial tensions and injustices in our country. Racism is deeply personal to me.  
  • I am not ever going to stop appreciating the advice (on parenting, on hair styles, on skin care, etc.) bestowed upon me by Black men and women.  I'm deeply thankful for those who grace us with their wisdom.
  • I will not cease to pray for my kids' biological families, both on my own and with my children. We are thankful for their birth families, we love them, and we are thankful they chose us to parent the children.  
  • I won't ever believe that there are blurry lines when it comes to adoption ethics.  Some things, to me, are black and white.  I want to be able to tell my children that I made the right choices, even if sometimes it was uncomfortable and the outcome of those choices was uncertain.
  • I'm not down with the adoption absolutes that some like to tout.  There is no adoption gospel. Every adoption is different.  I will weigh what I read and hear carefully, but as a mom, I'm going to do what is best for MY children.  
  • I do not agree that just because a mom is young, because the biological father goes MIA, because the mom struggles financially, because she's unsure who the father is, or because she's of a certain faith, that adoption is the best choice for her baby. Young moms, single moms, moms without much money, moms of any faith:  they can be good moms.  And if they choose to place, I hope that choice is made with a clear mind and peace, never out of coercion from a social worker, mom or dad, partner, or anyone else.  
  • I do not believe that adoptees should have to choose between nature and nurture because the "nature" part makes their parents uncomfortable.  My kids are a beautiful blend of both their first families and us.    

Now on to the Adoption Talk Linkup!

Today's topic is Names. Grab a button for your post and join Erin, Jamie, Jenni, Jill, Madeleine, Rachel, and me!
New to linking up? We'd love to have you join us, here's how.
No Bohns About It

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