Monday, May 1, 2017

Dear Sugar: 25 Truths Moms of Four (Plus) Kids Live By

Dear Sugar:  This post is for the moms with four (plus) kiddos.  

Over eight months ago, I became a mom again.  Our beautiful baby girl (probably) completed our family.  Going from three kids to four was an adjustment, just as it was each time we added a child to our family through adoption.  But adding the fourth kid was a real game changer.  I suddenly realized why all my mom friends who were the matriarchs of their large families took four days to respond to my text message asking about a coffee meetup or a playdate (and the response usually being, I really want to, but I can’t).  

Over the past several months, I’ve joined a new club:  the Moms of Four Kids (or more) Club.  And with that, comes the acknowledgement that there are truths we club members live by.   Here they are:

1:  We haven’t read a book since 2009, but maybe one day we’ll get to devour Girl on a Train

2:  We have one answer for you when you ask us to sew costumes for the school play, make bake sale goods, or sell crappy candles for our child’s sports team:  no.   

3:  We are unashamed of our makeup-less face, hair in a top knot, and workout clothes worn all day long.

4:  We have no idea what the latest trends are in music, fashion, home d├ęcor, or beauty, nor do we care. 

5:  We are imitating Katniss Everdeen by always being in survival mode.

6:  We no longer buy coordinating outfits for our children so our pictures are Pinterest-worthy. 

7:  We laugh when you say, “Let’s make plans,” since at least seventy-five percent of our plans get cancelled.

8:  We will only entertain your request for a conversation if your sentence includes one of the following:  girlfriends’ getaway, winery, Channing Tatum, coffee, or pedicure.

9:  We see right through excuses and pettiness, and we have no patience for it. 

10:  We have more tolerance for our child’s shenanigans, because our life is one big shenanigan anyway.

11:  We become an ultimate warrior at 8 p.m., because the bedtime struggle is real.

12:  We define sexiness as our partner changing the baby’s diaper, washing the dishes, or vacuuming the minivan. 

13:  We are honest about our parental shortcomings, and confident in our experiences. 

14:  We know how to choose our battles, and when we enter a battle, we win. 

15: We know the answer to all parenting conundrums:  bribery.

16: We think Instagram is bae because of the “insta” part, because we are very, very busy. 

17:  We are our children’s #1 fans, and we are the definition of Mama Bear.

18:  We don’t care what you think about our parenting choices, and we don’t judge yours.  
  
19:  We don’t go to the movie theatre on date night because we’d just fall asleep. 

20:  We will not respond to any form of communication other than text messages, and even then, we’re unreliable. 

21:  We joke that we can’t wait for the day our birdies fly the nest while knowing deep-down, we will be heartbroken.

22:  We spend our entire waking hours trying not to lose our shit. 

23:  We have incredible ninja skills including sneaking chocolate and slipping out of our child’s bed.

24:  We mess up every single day, and we’re ok with that.

25:  We know who matters most, which is why the above twenty-four are true. 

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