Friday, May 12, 2017

Dear Sugar: On Mother's Day, Adoption, Waiting, and Hope

Dear Sugar,

It's the eve of Mother's Day weekend.   I know the two words---Mother's Day---will greet each of you with a different reaction. 

Perhaps you're celebrating this day for the first time since adopting. Perhaps it's ANOTHER Mother's Day in which you aren't yet someone's mom.  Perhaps you're the mother of a large, beautiful family through adoption.    

No matter where you are, I want to offer you a virtual cup of hot tea and a hug.  

I have been the mom-in-waiting.  I have been the mom-in-mourning.  I have been the mom-in-rejoicing.  I have been the mom-in-anticipating. 

This week, I've been working really hard to bring you hope, no matter where you are on your journey.   Here's some of the things I've been up to.  Find what applies to you.   I pray my words bring you exactly what you need as we begin this holiday weekend. Click on the topic that speaks to your heart to be taken to the full post:

On Mother's Day without yet being a mother:  Waiting for motherhood on Mother’s Day always felt fragile, anxiety-inducing, and depressing. There was truly no way to ease the heartache. Struggling while standing by for “the call” that will change your world is difficult, to say the least, but it is an unavoidable part of the journey.

On waiting for your first Mother's Day:  Every Mother’s Day, I remember the many times I sat in my isolation, anger, and jealousy. I remember the many women today who are sitting in my yesterday.If you are her, I see you, I know you, and I am cheering for you. I don’t know how or when, but your motherhood is coming. Hold on just a little longer.

On being a "great" mom:  Though I am not a great mom because I chose to adopt, I am a great mom because I was chosen. 

Waiting for your child and making the right choices TODAY: As you wait for your child, I implore you to think beyond the now. I know you’re tired of waiting.  I know the road has been long and bumpy.  I know you’re disappointed, exhausted, and disheartened. I know because I have been there.   But you know what a good mom or dad does?  A good mom or dad doesn’t just consider the path at their feet.  No.   A good parent considers the future.  All the tomorrows.   And makes the best choices he or she can for the well-being of their child’s forever.

I hope you will let your feelings release.  I hope you will care for yourself on the holiday that brings about mixed emotions and hard reminders.   I hope you will dance with faith.  I hope your wait ends soon.   I hope your heart heals. I hope you have strength and courage. 

I truly believe Mother's Day is for us all, no matter where we are on our journey.   


As you wait for your baby, or as you parent your new little one, you will find the encouragement you need to keep going in the book I co-authored with Madeleine Melcher.   Between us, we have seven children, many different adoption experiences (Madeleine is an adoptee) and opinions, and a common held faith in Jesus.   Our book offers you 52 chapters, arranged alphabetically by topic, journaling space, and thought-provoking questions.   -Click on the book graphic to learn more-

-This post contains Amazon affiliate links

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