I have four children. That alone should cause pause. I do not have time or patience for the following:
1: Any events where only one of my children is invited.
2: Parties (online or in person) where women are trying to sell me crap I do not want, need, or like.
3: Diets, including no-carb or low-carb, keto, vegan, or drinking-shakes-only.
4: Listening to complaints from grown women about petty nonsense.
5: Drama. Put on your big-girl panties.
6: Outings for the sake of the children that mean I will sweat profusely among a large crowd of strangers for several hours while making small talk with said strangers who want to discuss all-things-adoption while two of the four kids have epic meltdowns over needing another snack even though we ate sixteen minutes ago. (Think, zoo in July...thanks but not thanks).
7: 700 ultra-expensive children's adult-directed activities that only make all of us want to have an epic public meltdown. Just say NO to over-scheduling.
8: Flakes. My carefully-laid plans are just that: carefully laid. When I manage to get my rear out the door, dressed as a semi-normal and functional human being, that's a BIG DEAL. If you flake on me: girl, bye.
9: Extra anything. I don't want papers, I don't want freebies, I don't want crappy junk in my house. (Just say NO to free Dum Dums from the bank teller.)
10: Healthy brownies. NOBODY actually likes brownies made with vegetables. Eat a real damn brownie, and we can be friends.
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