Dear Sugar: Teaching Through Travel

Dear Sugar,

Happy Black History Month! 

Last week our family traveled to Indianapolis.  We only live three hours from there, but we'd never ventured there before.  Our initial motivation for the visit was to meet Rachel Macy Stafford (the Hands Free Mama), but as we researched Indy, we found that there were some great cultural opportunities!

Everyone told us we just had to visit the Indy Children's Museum.   Our kids enjoyed the giant chocolate slide, the princesses and pirates room, seeing a Darth Vader race car, visiting "China," and many more.  But what go to us was the room where kids and parents could get an in-depth understanding of the stories of three people:  Ryan White, Anne Frank, and Ruby Bridges.  This was appropriately named:  The Power of Children.  

My girls are familiar with Ruby's story.  In fact, Ruby is one of the ten females featured in my first children's book Black Girls Can: An Empowering Story of Yesterdays and Todays.  She's also in two poems in my second book Poems for the Smart, Spunky, and Sensational Black Girl.  I feel a connection to young Ruby, knowing she was so close to my daughters' ages when she pioneered integrating an all-White school.   Unlike many other equality-warriors, Ruby fought for rights as a little girl, as a child.   

Our family walked into a school room to learn more about Ruby.  Surrounding the entrance were cutouts of angry White people holding signs of protest, and an overhead speakers, voices chanted, "We won't integrate!"   Inside the classroom were workbooks from Ruby's time, alongside the pages was a question:  How would you feel if you never saw someone who looked like you in a book?  

We saw a "whites only" water foundation, mini models of the KKK, and much, much more.

I was an emotional mess the entire time.  

There were warning signs, stating the displays featuring the three children and their stories, were most appropriate for ages eight and up.   I questioned if I was doing the right thing, letting my kids meander from room to room, looking at pictures and objects.   

Then I asked myself, did Ruby, Ryan, and Anne have a choice at what age they faced their battles? There was no "age suggestion" for them.   They were making history.  They were history.  

I want my kids to know their history and respect and honor those who fought for the freedoms they, as people of color have, and our family as a whole has.   I want them to be proud of their culture, their skin color, their history.   

It's hard to swallow, though.  Knowing people who shared my skin color were the ones trying to scare sweet Ruby into not attending the school, one woman even stuffing a Black doll into a coffin and thrusting it into Ruby's line of vision to intimidate the little girl.   

I shared on IG and Twitter the other day that my daughter had been reading a biography on MLK, and one night she said she didn't want to read the book again.  I asked why, and she said because of the "devils."  She showed me an illustration from the book:  a sketch of the KKK standing by a burning cross.

Gulp.

I told her the KKK was/is a group of cowards who hide behind their costumes.  They are evil people who don't like Black people.   

And I thought about when my oldest was a baby and we took her to Memphis.  We saw the hotel balcony MLK was standing on when he was shot.   And then I also had this moment where I wondered if I should really be taking my infant daughter to a place where so much evil culminated.   Where MLK's life was stolen from him.

I have to remind myself that the story isn't about the ending or the beginning.  It's about the journey.  It's about Ruby walking into her school, day after day.  It's about MLK marching and speaking and writing.  It's about the choices these individuals made:  like when Ruby said that her reaction to the "haters" who screamed at her was to pray for them.   

We will continue to take our children places so they can learn about the people, locations, and objects they read about in the many books we own and borrow from the library.   We will continue to show them what making a difference means.  We will continue to empower them as people of color, deliberately, no matter how uncomfortable and terrifying it can be.   

We won't choose silence.  We won't sugar-coat.  We won't shush.  We won't hide.   

We will teach the babies.   

 As you continue to celebrate Black History Month, may you have the courage and dedication to teach, to learn, and to listen to the heroes of the past.  

Princess Truly is BACK!

For fans of Princess Truly and the Hungry Bunny Problem, you will be thrilled to know there's another Princess Truly book:  Princess Truly and the Courageous Cape Chase.    I recently chatted with author Kelly Greenawalt, talking baking, hair puffs, problem-solving, and Sir Noodles.  Intrigued?  Read on, Sugars:

Tell me about yourself!I am Kelly Greenawalt.  I am the freckle-faced adoptive momma of four amazing kids.  My husband, Chuck, and I have been married for 18 years.  I consider myself a “stay in the car mom”.  It’s a thing!  My hair is forever in a pony tail, my yoga pants are black, my minivan is awesome and I’m always picking up or dropping off someone or something somewhere.  But when I’m not you can usually find me reading a book, tackling Mt. Laundry, baking something yummy or click-clacking away at the computer because there is a story in my head that insists on coming out.

What inspired you to write children's books?  
I grew up poor in a big city with a fantastic mother that checked out library books for us by the bagful.  Reading together was free and fun.  We read books about royal elephants, rabbits that wore jackets, little girls that lived in Paris and mice that baked delicious goodies.  Sometimes, as an extra special treat, our mother would tell us elaborate bedtime stories about little girls that lived in a world made entirely of chocolate.  In elementary school, I found my voice and started telling stories of my own.  These days writing comes as naturally as breathing.  It’s something I have to do. 

Your protagonist, Princess Truly, is a black girl.  Did you intentionally set out to create books featuring a girl of color?  Why?
All four of my children are black.  After watching her favorite Disney movie for the hundredth time, my youngest daughter, Kaia, announced that her hair wasn't special or beautiful. She'd never seen a black princess with natural hair and so she decided her gorgeous puffy curls were ugly.  I was shocked and heartbroken. I set out to find a character she could identify with and came back empty handed.  If I couldn’t find a story, I knew I had to write one.  Princess Truly was born.  

Princess Truly has magical hair.  Talk to me about why it was important to have a black female character with magical hair...or was it?
I’ve always been drawn to magical realism.  When perfectly ordinary things become extraordinary, it makes my heart happy.  Princess Truly is a character most girls can relate too.  She’s smart, helpful, friendly and kind.  She’s a leader; a problem-solver. Magical hair is just the icing the on the cupcake. I firmly believe that books act as windows and mirrors; a way of learning about ourselves and others.  I wanted every little girl that read a Princess Truly tale to see themselves in the story.  I wanted them to feel special! 

What’s next for Princess Truly?  What other adventures will she be going on?
Princess Truly and Sir Noodles will need scarves and mittens and boots on their next adventure – a frosty fairytale featuring three sisters and a snow ballerina. 

Find Lemon Starfish publishing on Facebook, Twitter, and their site:

There are so many fabulous books out now for kids of color, including my own:

Adoption Linkup: Favorite Transracial Adoption Children's Books

Hi, Sugars!

Today's optional topic was transracial adoption.  Obviously, this is something I'm passionate about. As a mom by transracial adoption x3, I've had the opportunity to write and speak extensively on the topic, including places like Huffington Post, Huffington Post Live, Scary Mommy, Babble, NPR, and MSNBC.   Perhaps my proudest accomplishment is writing COME RAIN OR COME SHINE and seeing how well it has sold; it was the book I felt convicted to write, feeling a hole in the market and giving parents-to-be and parents the book I wish I would have had when we started our adoption journey.

I have always been an advocate of reading.  The reading experience is transforming, magical, and imaginative.  It encourages creativity and conversations.  It's beautiful, and to me, essential.

Today I want to share with you some of my favorite children's books focusing on transracial adoption.  If you click on the book image, you'll be taken to Amazon where you can read the books description and purchase it if you wish.

 Happy reading, Sugars!

And in my first children's book, you'll find an illustration of a transracial adoptive family on the last page!  

An InLinkz Link-up

5 Fabulous Children's Films & Shows Featuring a Black Female Protagonist

1:  Roger and Hammerstein's Cinderella

2:  Doc McStuffins

3:  Annie

4:  Home

5:  Happily Ever After:  Fairytales for Every Child

Part-Time Homeschooling: Why and How We Do It

Homeschooling is becoming an increasingly popular decision among parents.  These parents are eradicating homeschooling stereotypes: the mom in the long denim skirt (with the badly permed, long hair) and socially awkward children.  Today's homeschooling parent is educated, creative, and cool (think tattoos, organic-grocery-buying, and field trip expert extraordinaire).

One reason I have grown to know so many homeschooling parents is because, as mom by adoption, I befriend a lot of adults parenting children who come from hard places.  The children's difficult pasts don't yield to schooling that requires a lot of sitting, standardized tests, and large classes: seven hours a day, five days a week.  Plus homework.  Plus little flexibility.  Plus a sometimes lack of diversity (in age, race, and ability).  

To the WHY:

What you need to know about me:

• I taught college English for eight years.
• My in-laws are both retired educators/administrators in the public school system.  
• My husband and I were both educated in the public school system and we attended state universities.  
• My oldest is in half-day public school.
• My middle child is in private preschool two mornings a week.
• And...we part-time homeschool.

We decided to part-time homeschool for a few reasons:

• As a former educator, and as my children's first/most important teacher, I wanted to have a heavy influence in their educational experience.
• I wanted to teach my children things they wouldn't get in public or private school (such as an emphasis on Black history, Bible verse memorization, etc.)
• I'm a big believer in free play.  We can homeschool for about an hour a day, and then my girls have time to ride bikes, play with toys, create art, etc.  My kindergartner has been playing in the sunshine, reading books, have a snack with her sister, and creating art for hours by the time the bus that would typically be bringing her home at 4:00 in the afternoon goes by.  
• I can tailor my teaching to their individual needs and desires.
• I can give them one-on-one attention. 
• As a mom, I was feeling that I wasn't doing enough teaching of my own kids:  teaching them about the Bible, teaching them certain subjects, etc., so I would randomly, in a wave of guilt, try to teach them on X subject.  The lack of consistency and a plan made me feel more guilty and discouraged.  Homeschooling is a way to be organized, consistent, and purposeful.

To the HOW:

Homeschooling options can be overwhelming and shake a person's confidence.  However, the perfect time to give homeschooling a whirl, from my experience, is when children are young.  They are typically eager to learn, embrace free play, and are more receptive to learning from mom or dad.   

Tools we utilize:

• workbooks.  I really like Explode the Code and Handwriting Without Tears.  My go-to book for teaching my kids to read is Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.  We also like the Curious George and Brain Quest workbooks.  (Kumon books aren't my favorite, but I do utilize a few).  We also buy workbooks at the dollar store.  I'm a big fan of clean, simple workbooks without distracting colors, though most of the dollar store books are pretty colorful and tend to be based on Disney and Fisher-Price characters.  A few of these more colorful books are ok. 
• puzzles.  We love Melissa and Doug puzzles!  There's world and US puzzles (think history and geography) and alphabet and number puzzles (for recognition and identification).
• story cards, matching games, bingo games, letter matching. 
• window markers and sidewalk chalk  These are great for "workbook" type work done on a window or sidewalk/driveway
• magnets.  We made a killer magnet board using a Goodwill frame (spray painted it purple) with a custom-cut piece of magnetic metal super-mega-glued to the inside.  It's 3'x4'.  We use our alphabet (put them in order) and number (do math problems) on it, as well as fun magnets like animals, vehicles, etc.  (see magnet board hung on the left-hand wall?)
  
   
• art supplies.  lots and lots and lots of art supplies.  our favorites are plain paper, kid-safe scissors, washable paint, canvases, stickers, coloring books (here is one my favorites, as an adult!), beans (for gluing onto paper), crayons, markers, Melissa and Doug scratch art, yarn, and colored pencils. 
• math press-down board.  My kids adore this toy I found in clearance at Home Goods.  They play with it in the car all the time!  It's a great non-electronic toy.
• counting objects.  These are great for math skills, identifying colors, categorizing, and understanding patterns.  Plus, they are just fun to play with!   This set I've had since I was in grade school, and we love using it for art and math.  When my oldest with struggling with math, we got a $1 clearance set of multi-colored unicorn figurines (her favorite!) and her attitude turned around instantly!   
• books, books, books, books

Our overall focus:

• Each month, we pick one Bible verse to memorize that matches the month's themes.  For example, this February, we are focusing on Valentine's Day, Black History Month, and babies (since my sister's baby is due).   I pull books from our personal library that focus on these things.  We read a book a day from the stack, plus additional books at bedtime and on the day we only read books.  This focus helps us not be overwhelmed, gives us the same thing to start off with each day (Bible verse and talking about our themes), and helps us select what books/videos to utilize.

Tips:

• When we can take our schooling outside, we do.  This means homeschooling on the porch, identifying words/numbers in the driveway with sidewalk chalk, collecting objects from nature to stamp-paint or create nature bottles, etc.  I'm also realistic.  After the girls have been at their schools that morning and after lunch, we try to go outside and ride bikes for a bit before sitting down to homeschool.
• Have a designated space for school, and make it attractive and organized.   Be sure to put homeschooling items you don't want your kids to get into on higher shelves.  If it's not a place you want to spend time in, why would your children?  Paint the room/area a fun color, hang up some kid-friendly art, and have a great table and enough chairs. 

• Choose a few subjects to focus on, especially when the kids are young. Our main three subjects are: math, handwriting, and reading.  
• Pick a day a week where you just read books together. 
• Pick a day a week that you don't homeschool, because you are going to need flexibility!  Use this day when someone is sick, when you have a lot of work to do at home, or you just don't feel like doing school!  
• Wear play clothes.  Buy washable supplies, but know that learning isn't always going to be tidy.  Put your children in clothes where you aren't going to fret over spills, pen marks, etc.
• Utilize homeschooling to spend time with your children.   There are many ways to teach a child to read, for example, without electronics.  Nothing is more magical than sitting a child in your lap and reading a good book (and it promotes attachment).   There's something to be said for delaying a lot of screen time for little ones.  
• Get creative.  I love to bake.  Baking is a fun activity that teaches little ones all about math (volume, fractions, etc.), following instructions, reading (the recipe, ingredient lists, etc.), and patience.  And it's so yummy!  
• If you are schooling multiple kids, games and puzzles can be a great way to let the kids learn together.  My girls take turns calling letter BINGO, they put together huge floor puzzles as a team, and my oldest can help teach her younger sister.   
• Give yourself and your children grace.  One of my life mottos, as a recovering perfectionist, is PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION. 
• When it comes to workbooks, don't assume that just because a book is labeled for a child of a certain age or grade level, that that particular workbook is right for your child.  It's always best to physically flip through the workbooks you want to use and then order them from the cheapest place possible (which is most likely Amazon).   
• When something isn't work, stop doing it.  Adjust.  More forward.  
• Do what works for you and your family.  For us, it's part-time homeschooling while utilizing our local public and private schools.   Homeschooling isn't all-or-nothing.
• Join FB homeschooling groups, in-person groups, and befriend experienced homeschooling parents.  
• Keep in mind that one of the perks of homeschooling is time together and building relationships, not just getting educated.
• Pinterest.  (No explanation needed for this one!)

Affordability:

• Buy supplies at the dollar store.  Another great place to get supplies is the "add on" items from Amazon.  (From the Amazon site:  "The Add-on program allows Amazon to offer thousands of low-priced items that would be cost-prohibitive to ship on their own. These items ship with qualifying orders over $25.")
• Ask for supplies for Christmas and birthdays instead of loads of plastic toys. Also, ask for gift cards for places like Amazon where your children can order books.  
• Utilize your library.  We rent movies and get the latest books (and old favorites) for free.
• Home Goods, TJMax, and Marshall's (all part of the same company) have awesome prices on books, Melissa and Doug products, Eeboo products, art supplies, and more.
• The day after a major holiday (Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween) go to your local stores such as Target, Micheal's, and Hobby Lobby to stock up on clearanced art supplies.  You can use the items right away or store them for the next holiday.  Likewise, go to bookstores the day after a major holiday to get 50% off or more on holiday-themed books for your children.
• My local FB swap and sell site always has dining room tables/chairs for sale.  We picked up our homeschooling room table and chairs (very sturdy and in good shape) for $40.  Because we got such a great deal, I don't worry when things spill or scratch.   

Opportunity Needed: On Target, the New Annie Movie, and Representing Black Girls

Several years ago, I babysat a child who was behaving rather badly.  I tried all my tricks ranging from threats to hugs to bribery, but nothing worked.  The child simply refused to get it together.

The child, in a fit of rage, turned to me and said, "I need an opportunity!"

The exclamation has stuck with me for years, as I'm parenting, as I worked with my students at the university, as I dealt with difficult customers in some of my other jobs, and most recently when I took my daughters to see the new ANNIE movie.

One of Annie's songs is called "Opportunity."  And it's resonating with me today as I share this article with you, a piece over at My Brown Baby, which focuses on Target's Annie clothing advertisements in their stores which feature not a single brown girl.

For a hundred reasons, this bothers me.

The greatest is this:  my girls deserve to be represented rather than dismissed, ignored, and pushed aside.

This is one reason I wrote BLACK GIRLS CAN: AN EMPOWERING STORY OF YESTERDAYS AND TODAYS.  Because Black girls and women CAN and DO great things and should be recognized for it.

And we sure don't need any more messages of BLACK GIRLS CANNOT, whether that comes from an advertisement, a tv show, a book, or anything else.  

Very Merry: My One December Blog Post

It's December!  One of my favorite times of the year is Christmas.  We decorate, we bake, we shop, we wrap, we read, we smile, we celebrate, we eat, we lounge, we listen.  It's sparkly, magic, miracle. It's joy, peace, and hope.  It's blessing after blessing.  It's family. It's remembering and looking forward.

When Steve and I were first married, we put up a tree that was decorated in coordinating glass, silver, and gray ornaments. It was balanced, symmetrical.  It was tidy and well-planned.

As the years passed on and the children entered our lives, our tree began to evolve.  We added ornaments from our own childhoods, plus ornaments gifted to our children.  Ornaments symbolizing first Christmases and favorite activities and characters. We began to display several Black Santa ornaments and brown-skinned angels, grinning each time our kids exclaimed, "That one looks like me!"

 Our tree went from silver and gray to a palate mirroring the rainbow.

In essence, our tree became symbolic of our family:  non-matching but more beautiful than it was before.

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This year has been one of incredible blessings for our family.  My oldest started kindergarten, my middle child started preschool, my son turned one (and is almost two!).  We started homeschooling the kids (part-time).  I published a second book, wrote for both Scary Mommy and Babble, shared part of our story on Portrait of Adoption, got re-published on abc.com, went on NPR and Huffington Post Live, and continued to write for adoption.net.  I found out that Melissa Harris-Perry recommended my first book!  And I'm happy to share that my first book has sold over 1,000 copies!   And Steve and I successfully went on a date every month (except October).  That's huge, ya'll, when you have three kids!  We visited our kids' birth families twice, and we spent a fabulous week at Disney with Steve's parents.

We have so much to be thankful for.

2015 will no doubt be a great year!  Exciting things are coming, including my third book (co-authored with a really fabulous writer).   Meanwhile, I'll be getting my Christmas on, doing a daily devotional with the kiddos, baking cookies, wrapping gifts, and relishing in the celebration of Jesus' birth and the promise that starry night offers us all:

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  ~Luke 2:10 (emphasis mine)

I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas.  I hope this season has you looking up and relishing in the best gift: a savior.  Thank you for using a few moments of your precious time to read my blog.  I'll be back blogging in January.