I'm embarrassed. I did something I despise...and I'm going to tell you about it. I shouldn't say someTHING but rather, somethingS.
We're at the park. My girls are running around like crazy because they are both convinced they own the place. The other kids just get to borrow the space. Whatever.
It's a lovely day...finally. Sunny, nice breeze, 75 degrees. There are tons of parents and kids everywhere. I'm standing at the bottom of the twisty slide, trying to keep Baby E from getting completely smashed by older kids, and overhear two women talking. One is a mom of three, the other is a nanny to two kids.
Nanny: I've been married nine years and we still haven't gotten pregnant.
Me (on impulse). I pick up Baby E, hold her up so our faces are touching, smile, and blurt out: You could always adopt.
Immediate regret. What was I trying to do? Use my kids as an advertisement for adoption?
So I say: Not that I'm trying to get up into your fertility business or anything. I hate when people do that.
Dumb. Why did I say that?
I move to help Baby E climb up the rock wall.
Nanny's Mom friend to Me: Are they [my girls] real sisters?
Me: They are not biologically related.
Immediate regret round 2. It's none of her bleeping business. Yet, I did offend her friend by being insensitive about infertility by offering adoption as a happy resolution....so I'll let it slide.
Miss E, standing above me on some equipment, tells the Mom: We are not SISTERS. We are BROTHERS.
Me, laughing, to Mom: I guess she told you.
Regret round 3. What was that, Rach? Really?!?
Sometimes I'm just off my adoption-game. I really expect more of myself. I write about adoption, I educate others on adoption, I'm active in the adoption community. And I acted like that?
This day reminded me...
1: I'm going to screw up sometimes. I'm human. It's ok.
2: My daughter is listening, now more than ever, to everything I say and those around her say.
3: I need to be ready to respond to the "real" sisters question. What I really want to say is: "Yes, they are real sisters, and I'm their real mom."
4: I need to remember that no everyone thinks adoption is super-awesome like I do.
5: I need to be more sensitive to those who have gone through (are going through) infertility issues. (We adopted due to my type I diabetes, not due to infertility. Adoption was an easy choice for us. It's not for most/many people).
6: I need to take it down a few notches sometimes. I might have GOBS of information for people on the journey of adoption, I might be super passionate about adoption, but if I don't bring it up in an appropriate way at an appropriate time, no one is going to care to listen and learn.
Talk to me. When did you do or say something adoption-related that you later regretted?